


and here comes the blushing groom

by hiriki



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Canon Compliant, Chatlogs, Comedy, Fluff, M/M, Pining Keith (Voltron), everything happens so much, keith is very lost please hug him, lance cannot stop screaming, shiro types like a Dad, so much text chatting im sorr y
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-28
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-20 09:26:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 37,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9484937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiriki/pseuds/hiriki
Summary: "Well, I'm just glad both of you are in no immediate danger.""Excuse me? I think marrying Keith counts as immediate danger?"Lance screams about his feelings through text messages.





	1. Chapter 1

_Beep!_ A small light on Shiro’s armor-clad wrist gets his attention. He wasn’t even done pinching the bridge of his nose.

 

(16:48) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** ajsshurio shiro im here

(16:48) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** shiro

(16:48) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** shiro please

(16:49) **[ Black Paladin ]** Lance, I’m here.

(16:49) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** okokkkkkk can we talk now

(16:49) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** like p lease this is lik so serious

(16:50) **[ Green Paladin ]** What? Guys?

(16:50) **[ Black Paladin ]** Hello, Pidgeon!

(16:50) **[ Black Paladin ]** I meant Pidge. I think it auto-corrected your name.

(16:51) **[ Green Paladin ]** It did?? Damn, I can’t believe I forgot to add my own name to the corrector… I’ll fix it later

(16:51) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** CANWE PLEASE TALK SHIRO its a

(16:51) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** crisis

(16:52) **[ Black Paladin ]** I’m sorry, Lance. Please go ahead.

(16:52) **[ Green Paladin ]** Wait, what? Why are you guys talking through here? I thought we were only supposed to use the text chat when we can’t speak for some reason?

(16:52) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** nnjhjjjjj

(16:52) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** I cant speak I can only Yell right now

(16:52) **[ Black Paladin ]** Yes. I don’t think Lance can speak right now. He’s been trying to tell me something for a while now but I can hardly understand a word.

(16:53) **[ Green Paladin ]** Oh, what happened? I thought it was supposed to be a simple mission?

(16:53) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** DIDN’T WE ALL

(16:53) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** our lions are fukcin gone they took them

(16:53) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** theyre like ‘we love u xoxo’ but theyre keeping us locked up and they STOLE OUR LIONS this is ridiculous im rioting

(16:53) **[ Black Paladin ]** Wait, they took the lions? Who?!

(16:54) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** the Nazgûl

(16:54) **[ Black Paladin ]** …The Nazgûl…?

(16:56) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** what no

(16:56) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** pretty sure I typed Navguln but it changed to Nazgûl

(16:56) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** what the hecky pidge why would you put the word ‘Nazgûl’ in the text chat corrector are u some kind of nerd

(16:56) **[ Green Paladin ]** Yes, I am.

(16:57) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** we could all be dead because u thought itd be fUNNY to put lord of the rings words in the spell checker and delay our communications

(16:57) **[ Black Paladin ]** Lance, calm down. You need to tell us more so we can help you. The Navguln stole the lions? How?

(16:57) **[ Green Paladin ]** I thought they were supposed to be friendly…

(16:59) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** they were

(16:59) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** and then they were not

(16:59) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** and now we’re screwed

(16:59) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** me and keith anyway

(16:59) **[ Black Paladin ]** What happened, exactly? You’re still not making a lot of sense.

(17:00) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** jsut come and save us???????//

(17:00) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** like right now maybe

(17:00) **[ Black Paladin ]** I’m on my way. But it’d be easier if you could give us more information.

(17:06) **[ Black Paladin ]** Lance…?

(17:06) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** wow is this like a chat room thing?????

(17:06) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** wow

(17:07) **[ Green Paladin ]** Yes! Coran thought it’d be a good idea for us to have more ways of communicating with each other if we run out of range of our speakers or something, so I made this little thing. :D

(17:07) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** wooooooow

(17:07) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** this is so cool I love how it makes my arm beep (I was a little scared though im glad it’s just a chat room and not a bomb or something)

(17:07) **[ Green Paladin ]** haha sorry (pretty sure I’ve told everyone about it though?)

(17:08) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** you did?? I dont even remember

(17:08) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** this is so last century I’m a little in love with it

(17:10) **[ Green Paladin ]** Glad you like it!

(17:13) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** OK SHIRO DONT

(17:13) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** DONT COME

(17:13) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** SHIRO DONT COME TO THIS PLANET

(17:13) **[ Black Paladin ]** Lance??

(17:13) **[ Black Paladin ]** Lance, what happened?

(17:14) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** heya lance! Hows the mission (are you ok?? Your words dont look ok)

(17:15) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** HUNK BUDDY IM NOT OK

(17:15) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** shiro pls don’t come theyre going to kill you

(17:15) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** :(

(17:15) **[ Green Paladin ]** What

(17:15) **[ Black Paladin ]** I’m on my way, Lance. Are you still imprisoned? How is Keith doing?

(17:16) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** I TOLD YOU NOT TO COME

(17:16) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** why you gotta be like this

(17:16) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** keith is being keith

(17:17) **[ Green Paladin ]** does he know about the chat? Tell him to check his left wrist.

(17:17) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** yeah I dont think he really cares

(17:17) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** he’s just staring at nothing and sulking

(17:17) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** but I understand his pain this time

(17:18) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** shiro, shouldn’t we go and help them?? :( me and pidge are almost done with the balmera anyway

(17:19) **[ Black Paladin ]** Keith is not answering me. Lance, is he with you? Are you sure he’s doing okay?

(17:20) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** hes with me yeah

(17:20) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** none of us is doing ok shiro

(17:20) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** also please pleeeease dont try to land here unless you want the black lion to be torn apart by like a bunch of cool alien cannons (just saw them when they opened the door to leave)

(17:20) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** CANNONS???

(17:20) **[ Green Paladin ]** whooooooooa what

(17:21) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** I dont like this :(

(17:21) **[ Black Paladin ]** They have weapons? This doesn’t make sense. Allura didn’t tell us anything about weapons…

(17:21) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** yeah well allura was WRONG

(17:21) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** bless her soul but she was wrong as hell

(17:22) **[ Green Paladin ]** They probably didn’t have weapons like that thousand of years ago… Well, now at least we know why the Galra are after these ‘pacific people’

(17:22) **[ Black Paladin ]** Yes. They must want their arsenal.

(17:23) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** yeah this is all nice and cute but if you dont do something about this soon youll have to deal with a very bitter pair of married people

(17:23) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** just putting it out there

(17:23) **[ Green Paladin ]** wait what

(17:23) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** uuuhhh

(17:24) **[ Green Paladin ]** Is the corrector acting up again? I don’t think you meant to type ‘married’ people

(17:24) **[ Green Paladin ]** (please tell me so I can fix it later)

(17:25) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** nope, you read it right

(17:25) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** married people

(17:25) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** as in

(17:25) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** keith and lance are forced to hold hands by a bunch of banana-looking aliens while they chant and dance around

(17:26) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** whoa thats a crazy sight

(17:26) **[ Green Paladin ]** ??????? They want you guys to do what?????

(17:27) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** pidge I can hear your cackling all the way down there

(17:27) **[ Green Paladin ]** I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.

(17:28) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** GEE THANKS PIDGE

(17:28) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** glad SOMEONE’S having fun with our life or death situation

(17:28) **[ Green Paladin ]** Life or death situation? I thought it was just some sort of marriage ritual?

(17:28) **[ Green Paladin ]** (though I guess that must be like death for you and keith huh)

(17:29) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** har har

(17:29) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** they took our lions and are forcing us to get hitched or whatever just because we grabbed some gemstone??

(17:29) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** ive tried both shouting names at them and telling them it’s a terrible idea but they dont really care (also I think only a few of them can understand what im saying)

(17:29) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** also shiro why are you so quiet please dont tell me you got blown up by the alien cannons….

(17:30) [ **Yellow Paladin ]** you guys took a gemstone from them??? That cant be good

(17:30) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** I didnt take it??? I just wanted to take a look at it???? They had our lions anyway so we were kinda stuck there

(17:30) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** so I lift it from this weird stone statue and keith goes like ‘nuuhhh uhh lancee dont touch the pretty pink stone’ and I tell him its all good but he just tries to grab the gemstone from my hands and put it back where we found it

(17:30) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** and the Nazgûl just appear out of nowhere and start screaming and running in circles around us and showing us this old ass painting that no one cares about

(17:30) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** *Navguln

(17:31) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** then they took us to this tiny golden room that sort of looks like a vault?? And one of them was telling us about how we need to say our vows and become one and something something rite of marriage or whatever (keith was like turning into a ghost at this point he was very white)

(17:31) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** whooa dude

(17:32) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** so yeah anyway this is a terrible day and I feel like im too young for a life long commitment and also keith

(17:32) **[ Green Paladin ]** Keith? What about him?

(17:32) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** nothing, just thought id add him to the list of things giving me massive anxiety attacks right now

(17:32) **[ Green Paladin ]** Lance…

(17:34) **[ Black Paladin ]** I’ve talked to Allura.

(17:34) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** nice, ive been talking to myself because keith refuses to exist at this point I think

(17:35) **[ Black Paladin ]** Oh, I hadn’t read about this whole marriage problem… Well, I’m just glad both of you are in no immediate danger.

(17:35) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** excuse me?? I think marrying keith counts as immediate danger??

(17:35) **[ Black Paladin ]** Allura doesn’t think it’s a good idea for me to try to rescue both of you on my own. She’s worried it’ll make things worse. Right now, we all need to stay calm and think as a group.

(17:36) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** uuh, couldn’t she just tell us that? Why are you acting as her messenger boy now :o

(17:36) **[ Green Paladin ]** oooo messenger boy

(17:37) **[ Black Paladin ]** I told her I could pass the message to everyone. Plus, she has her hands full at the moment.

(17:37) **[ Green Paladin ]** tell her to join us in the chat room! It’s like we’re having a fun chat room party :D

(17:38) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** yeah go ahead and throw a party while im here suffering in space

(17:38) **[ Green Paladin ]** We’re all suffering in space a little, Lance.

(17:38) **[ Green Paladin ]** Plus, you’re already in the party. Can’t complain.

(17:42) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** alright, shiro? What can we REALLY do to help lance and keith? There must be something… they dont have their lions, they need help

(17:42) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** :’) I knew my best buddy would want to help me… thanks hunk

(17:42) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** im really worried?? :(

(17:42) **[ Black Paladin ]** Hunk, I need you and Pidge to leave the Balmera immediately and head back to the castle. We will regroup and discuss our options there.

(17:43) **[ Green Paladin ]** Sure, but we didn’t get all of the crystals yet since we were supposed to stay for a while, is that alright?

(17:43) **[ Black Paladin ]** Yes. We will make sure to return to the Balmera with Allura later. Right now, our priorities should be Lance and Keith’s safety.

(17:43) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** I agree! Heading out now

(17:44) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** please dont get blown up by the giant cannons… but yeah by all means please help

 

 

 

The small screen attached to Lance’s arm darkens when he pushes it back inside his armor, and now it’s just him and Mr. I’m-Sulky-And-Very-Quiet again.

“Keith?” Lance calls out, very much aware that his chances of getting any kind of response are quite slim.

As expected, Keith prefers to stare at a nearby golden wall than to acknowledge Lance’s mildly desperate voice.

But Lance doesn’t care. Lance grew up with more siblings than your average space teenager. He’s resilient. He’s used to sulkiness. And, more than anything, he’s good at being annoying.

“Keeith? Keith! C’mon, buddy.” A tentative finger touches one of Keith’s sulky shoulders, and he reacts in a way that suggests he’d just made contact with a piece of wet food while washing the dishes. Hey, at least he reacted.

“Keith, can we please talk?” Lance removes his stubborn finger from Keith’s shoulder pad. “Why are you so damn quiet, anyway? This whole— It— It wasn’t my idea!”

The wall still has Keith’s undivided attention. Not that it’s going to stop Lance from doing his thing.

“Don’t be mad at me of all people! I’m a victim too! We should be thinking of a way out, not, uh, whatever you’re doing right now!” A small pause. Lance takes a breath. “Everyone’s, like, super worried? Shiro will probably blame me if we go back to the castle and you’re all catatonic like that. You know how he is. So, can you please just— _talk_? Say anything? Maybe shout at me? Anything is okay, really, this is getting a bit weird.”

Keith has about the same amount of reaction as the wall he’s so enamored with.

Nothing.

Lance makes a mental note to never smile at Keith again, or be cute in front of Keith in any way. That man did not deserve his cuteness.

“Oh, fine. Just stay there and do nothing. Yeah. Maybe Red will go crazy again and try to rescue you. Yeah. That’s a plan. A solid plan.” Lance directs what he believes to be his most powerful glare to the back of Keith’s head. That should give him headaches for weeks. “I’ll just sit here and do nothing on my corner, too. Oh man, sure can’t wait until those crazy-looking guys force us to _get married for the rest of our lives against our will._ Sounds like pure fun.”

Perhaps Keith twitched a little at the word ‘marriage’, or perhaps Lance was just good at seeing what he wanted to see.

 

 

_Beep!_ Lance refrains himself from kissing his wrist when he spots a small light blinking there.

(19:01) **[ Black Paladin ]** Lance. How are you and Keith doing?

(19:01) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** im doing just peachy. they took my helmet tho so i can only talk thru here (I think they assumed I was talking w someone but I was just singing to myself?? talk about rude aliens)

(19:01) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** keith

(19:01) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** might be dead

(19:01) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** but they didnt take HIS helmet (which is unfair and ridiculous in my opinion, like these people are like so stupid im struggling to understand them)

(19:01) **[ Black Paladin ]** What?!

(19:01) **[ Black Paladin ]** What happened? What do you mean he’s dead??

(19:03) **[ Black Paladin ]** Lance?

(19:04) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** man you gotta chill

(19:04) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** he’s not like dead dead

(19:04) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** he just like refuses to talk to me?? Or move at all? Dunno whats up cuz he just won’t talk to me

(19:04) **[ Black Paladin ]** Oh

(19:04) **[ Black Paladin ]** Lance, please don’t say things like that again. You’ve got us very worried. It’s not good to joke about someone being dead in this kind of situation.

(19:05) **[ Green Paladin ]** (shiro sounds very composed here but you just made him scream and curse so loud it startled allura lol)

(19:05) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** whoa dude

(19:05) **[ Black Paladin ]** This is not funny. We have a difficult rescue mission ahead of us.

(19:06) **[ Black Paladin ]** And it’s going to be even harder if Keith’s so… unresponsive.

(19:07) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** did you try talking to him yet?? im assuming he’d be ok with talking with cool dude shiro (the issue here is me of course)

(19:07) **[ Green Paladin ]** l ance

(19:07) **[ Green Paladin ]** you sound very bitter

(19:07) **[ Green Paladin ]** do you feel bitter

(19:08) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** NO IM JUST fsssssss get me out of here

(19:09) **[ Black Paladin ]** We will. Allura will open the wormhole for us in a bit.

(19:10) [ **The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** WHAT you still haven’t left????????? duuuude theyre gonna make us MARRY EACH OTHER

(19:10) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** also they have our lions and our weapons which is just as bad

(19:10) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** but if keith keeps giving me the silent treatment honestly im starting to think this whole marriage thing is actually the bigger problem here

(19:11) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** this is nothing like my mrs. blue lion fantasy. i want out

(19:12) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** I thought you were ok with dudes too?? im confused

(19:12) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** also hey lance!! think we’re about to leave

(19:12) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** whaat

(19:12) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** no no hunk buddy keith’s gender isnt the problem here

(19:12) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** in fact it might be the only thing about him that isnt a problem

(19:13) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** i guess maybe his looks are ok too?? not as handsome as me but

(19:15) **[ Green Paladin ]** But? I’m curious now

(19:15) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** nvm it sounded weird

(19:15) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** :)))

(19:16) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** THE POINT IS the problem here is keith being keith

(19:16) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** also keith not talking to me

(19:16) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** marrying someone who doesnt even like me was bad enough but now it turned into marrying someone who doesnt REACT TO MY EXISTENCE im

(19:17) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** I just shouted for 20 seconds and keith didnt even flinch

(19:17) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** does this sound like a healthy relationship to you

(19:19) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** im gonna eat his stupid mullet head

(19:20) **[ Green Paladin ]** isnt that what some spiders do after mating? pretty sure I watched a documentary about that

(19:20) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** I think its kinda cute you’re actually considering this marriage thing haha like you’re more upset about keith’s lack of reaction than about this situation?? Haha

(19:21) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** WHOA HUNK what

(19:21) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** way to stab me where it hurts

(19:21) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** I literally said I want to eat keith’s head how does this sound cute to you

(19:22) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** if this is your way of letting me know ur jealous you dont have to worry buddy

(19:22) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** if it was hunk locked up with me here I wouldnt mind marrying him in order to save my life and get my lion back? Like yeah sure ill marry my best buddy

(19:23) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** omg

(19:23) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** but will I marry this sulky creature of the darkness ignoring me?? will I do that to save my life?? To get my lion back?? NO

(19:23) **[ Green Paladin ]** It’s ok Lance I dont think Keith is trying to propose to you

(19:24) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** WELL he better not, he’s getting a no in his face

(19:27) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** Allura’s calling us, I think it’s time to go??

(19:27) **[ Green Paladin ]** yeah we better hurry

(19:28) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** oh great, it’s going to be just me and mr. Angry again

(19:28) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** but im glad you guys are coming… remember to dodge the giant death cannons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok wowie this is my first voltron/klance fic pls be kind to my small heart
> 
> also, just a heads-up: there will be absolutely no forced stuff/non-con in this fic! just letting u guys know in case anyone was worried about the whole 'oh no you gotta marry each other' idea 
> 
> i have the whole thing planned out so!! lemme know if you guys are interested in more chapters (it's not that long really) or if i should just hide in shame (hiding in shame sounds very tempting to me rn btw bye)


	2. Chapter 2

_Beep!_

(20:12) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** uh, guys? not trying to be that guy or anything but uh are you coming??? Did you arrive?? Everything’s so quiet

(20:20) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** alright im guessing thats a no

 

 

_Beep!_

(20:54) **[ Black Paladin ]** Lance, are you there? I’m guessing you still didn’t get your helmet back. Tried to talk to you but no one answered.

(20:54) **[ Black Paladin ]** What about Keith’s helmet? Is he wearing it? I’m going to try talking with him again.

(21:10) **[ Black Paladin ]** Lance?

 

 

“Keith? Keith, are you there?”

Keith all but jumps at the sound of Shiro’s voice. His skin feels like it’s made out of rubber, and his insides are still trying to leave his body, but, aside from that, he feels quite fine.

“Shiro?” He asks, feeling a little stupid, because it _is_ Shiro and he knows it. His mouth feels a little dry after being shut for so long.

“Yes, it’s me. Can you talk? Is Lance with you?”

That’s right. Lance

Lance is still a thing.

Not that Keith had forgotten, no.

He turns around very slowly, and part of him sort of wishes Lance maybe managed to slip through the solid metal walls to take a stroll. There’s always that small chance.

Lance is snoring in a mess of long limbs and paladin armor.

“…Yes, he’s here. Sleeping.” Keith sighs. “And I can talk. We’re alone. For now, anyway.”

“Good. Lance told me they took his helmet, but didn’t take yours.” It’s Shiro’s turn to sigh. “Makes things a bit harder, but I guess we can deal with it.”

“Yeah. I told the Navguln I couldn’t breathe without mine. They freaked out a little, so I’m guessing they _do_ want to keep us alive.” Keith is whispering now, because he  really doesn’t need Lance to wake up. “…You know, I think we could use a little help. There’s not much we can do without our weapons when we’re locked up like this.”

“Yeah, about that…” Something in Shiro’s voice reminds Keith of a nervous mother trying to keep an eye on her children while grocery shopping. “The castle is under attack. Galra ships. Big ones. Flagship’s here, too.”

“Oh. Oh, no.” Keith opens and closes his mouth a few times. Only then, he notices Shiro sounds a little out of breath, and he can hear a few muffled explosions in the distance. “Is— Is everyone alright? How’s the castle holding up?”

“We’re fine. Well, not all of us.” Shiro pauses for a short while. Keith assumes he must be fighting _something_. Who knows. “Allura’s very tired. She opened several wormholes for us to escape, but the flagship keeps finding us. It’s, um, a bit hectic, but I think we can do it. Of course, it would be a little easier if we had you and Lance here.”

“I bet. It would be a little easier for me, too, to, uh, not be, um, _here_.” Locked up. With Lance.

“Yeah, I— hold on.” Keith waits patiently for Shiro to be done yelling orders at Pidge. The black paladin clears his throat. “Anyway, I was just going to say that we can’t do much to help you and Lance right now, not when Allura can’t even open a wormhole.”

Oh, no.

“Um, maybe she can open a tiny one? For just a little while?” Keith swallows. His forehead is probably getting a little sweaty. It’s hard to tell with the helmet on. “We can’t— I can’t—” _Ican’tstayherewithLance_ —

“ _Keith_. Allura can barely stand on her own.” Shiro grunts. “I’m sorry. I wish there was more we could do, but, right now… I’m sorry. We’ll come to you as soon as we can.”

Keith presses his lips into a thin line. For a moment, he allows himself to be distracted by the sounds of heavy fighting that were now replacing Shiro’s voice in his helmet.

“…Alright.” It’s not alright, but Keith isn’t great with words. “I guess… I’ll keep looking. For a way out, I mean. There must be something.”

“Yes, please do. Lance, too. I’m sure you don’t need to ask him to help, but you two are a team now.” Something seems to hit Shiro, but he doesn’t sound too bothered. “Keep an eye on each other. We’ll be there before you know it.”

“Yes. Sure.” Keith tries to swallow the knot in his throat for the fifth time. Him and Lance. What a team. “Got it. You should probably focus on keeping yourself alive. I’ll, uh, I’ll just go and—”

“Wait, wait, Keith!” Shiro huffs a little. “I’m not— I’m not done talking. Listen, I know you—”

A roaring blast interrupts Shiro’s voice, and Keith winces. He honestly had no idea what could be so important for Shiro to talk about during battle.

“We can talk later. Just—”

“No, Keith!” The nervousness in Shiro’s voice is a little unsettling. “Keith, listen to me. I’ll keep this short, but I need you to _listen_.”

“Alright. Okay. I’m listening.” He glances at Lance, just to make sure he’s still snoring, and is greeted by the same confusing mess of limbs from earlier; he had no idea how someone so lanky could occupy so much space when sleeping.

“Good. Keith.” Shiro exhales. “Keith, I know— no, I’m assuming it’s being hard for you. This situation.”

Keith wants to leave.

“What?” He asks in a small voice. “I’m fine, really—”

“Keith, it’s alright.” And the Shiro-is-trying-to-help voice is there again, just as Keith remembers it. “I figured it out when I tried to contact you earlier and you didn’t answer me. It’s fine. I didn’t forget about it. Our talk.”

Alright, now he just sounds like a dad trying to remind his son about that one time they had The Talk. Not that Keith would know, being an orphan and all that, but hey, he watched some movies.

“Shiro, you don’t have to do this. I’m fine, really.” He frowns, and it’s a little frustrating to know Shiro isn’t there to see it.

“Lance told me you were ignoring him, earlier.”

Goddamn it.

“I wasn’t— I was just— how the hell did he talk to you?! They took his helmet! And I would’ve heard it!” Keith is a little outraged at this development.

“We were using that texting device Pidge added to our suits.”

“What? What texting device?” Keith’s frown grows deeper. They must have talked about it during one of those moments when Keith’s mind was very, very far away from his tiny physical body.

“Nevermind that. I just— I just need you to know your feelings are valid and I _do_ understand what you must be going through now, but you need to find a way to work with Lance. He’s scared, too.”

“Yeah, for different reasons, I bet.” Keith all but snarls. Well. He didn’t mean to say that aloud.

A short silence grows between him and Shiro. Even the background noise on Shiro’s side seems to grow quieter.

“Keith”, Shiro says in a surprisingly calm tone, for someone under heavy Galran fire, “You’re right. It’s not the same. You’re different people. But you’re together in this, and you need to communicate. I _know_ you’re strong enough to do this. I’ve seen you around him. You’re a strong kid, Keith. Stronger than you think.”

And this— these words, right there— this breaks Keith a little. Because he knows what Shiro is talking about, and he knows that Shiro _knows_. Of course he does. Keith told him. He still doesn’t know if he should have, but he did.

It’s tempting not to talk, to let Shiro do all the talking for him, but—

“…I don’t know about that.”

“About what? Being strong?”

“…Yeah. I’m not— I don’t—” It’s hard, so hard, and he hopes the rest of the universe can forgive him for feeling a little annoyed with Shiro for bringing it up at all.

“But you are. You’ve been through so much, Keith. You’ve been by his side, and you’ve never—”

“Yeah, but this is _different_ , this is—” Crazy? Scary? Too sudden? Keith’s mind is a mess, and he just wants to stop. He lets out a small sigh. “…It’s, um, too close for comfort, y’know? I don’t— I don’t even talk about this with anyone, and then suddenly it’s just— it’s too much.”

For the first time since they’d started talking, Shiro doesn’t answer him immediately. Keith listens to his ragged breathing, and he wonders how everyone else is doing.

“Keep talking. It’s okay to talk.” Shiro says calmly.

“Well, it’s just—” Keith stutters. “I’m having all these thoughts, you know? I keep—” He lowers his voice even more. “I keep thinking about what _Lance_ might be thinking, and it’s so, um, scary, it’s weird, really, because I shouldn’t— I shouldn’t care about his opinion like this, but I do? This whole situation is so stupid, and I should just be annoyed with everything instead of freaking out, but I keep thinking about what _he_ ’s thinking, and I don’t want us to talk—”

“I can answer that for you.”

“What?” Keith blinks.

“What he’s thinking. Lance.”

“Oh. Um. Yeah, I don’t really want to—”

“He’s worried because you won’t talk to him.” Shiro keeps talking and dodging explosions or whatever he’s doing at the moment, even though Keith clearly tried to say _he didn’t want to know_. Thanks, Shiro. “He kept telling us about how you wouldn’t react to him. I think he just wants you to work with him. And he feels the same way about this whole… marriage… stuff.”

_Yeah, but he’s not the one with a crippling old crush on some stupid Cuban boy_ , Keith’s mind retorts angrily. He decides to keep that to himself. Shiro already knows a little too much about that subject, thank you.

“That doesn’t really mean anything. Knowing Lance, he’s probably, uh, calling me names inside his brain.” Keith steals another glance at his cell mate. Yep, still very much asleep.

“What? No, he’s not. None of this is even your fault, why would he be angry at you?” Keith can almost _hear_ Shiro rolling his eyes as he speaks. “You’re just panicking now. What is it you’re always saying about Lance?”

That he probably looks good in his underwear? That his skin is shockingly smooth and any part of his body could probably be mistaken by a baby’s cheeks? No, Keith had never said that. Not out loud, anyway.

“Um. That he’s a little, uh, annoying?” Not that thinking that was Keith’s way of dealing with his own complex feelings for Lance. Nope.

“Alright, let’s roll with that. I want you to keep that in mind.” Several tiny _beeps!_ merge with Shiro’s voice as he speaks and pilots his lion at the same time. “Don’t think about the Lance you like. Think about the times he annoyed you. Think about the times he pissed you off somehow, pretty sure there must be tons of them. I need you to think of annoying, obnoxious Lance, not _your_ Lance.”

His Lance? _His Lance?_ Keith wants to take off his helmet and scream the nastiest words he knows. There is no ‘your Lance’. Shiro’s probably bleeding out and having weird delusions. Still, he’s trying his best to help, and Keith can respect that.

“They’re all the same Lance, though.” Keith offers, his voice so small it might belong to one of Allura’s space hamsters.

“Yeah, yeah, but I want you to focus on the annoying parts. I want you to think of a helpless Lance that really needs you to be strong and fight for the both of you.”

That was weirdly cute, and Keith was now having all these bizarre thoughts about holding Lance in his arms and patting his head softly. Something told him this wasn’t what Shiro was hoping to achieve.

“Uh, okay.” Keith says, because there isn’t much else he can’t add, apart from maybe _you’re just making me think about him even more._

“Don’t forget the annoying moments.” Wow, Shiro was really trying that whole therapy thing with him. Wow. “Keep them in mind. Remember when Lance forgot about that time you sort of saved him from Sendak and held him afterwards?”

_I cradled you in my arms!_ , past Keith yelled inside Keith’s mind. How could he forget?

“Yeah.” If Keith’s voice sounds a little bitter, that’s because he is, in fact, a little bitter.

“Or that time when we were all worried about Lance’s condition and the first thing he tries to do after coming to his senses is flirt with Allura?”

“Yeah…” Keith pouts. A little.

“Or _that_ other time when—”

“How do _you_ even remember all that stuff?” Keith asks. Sure, Keith himself remember those moments, but that’s because he’s good at remembering Lance stuff. Knowing that Shiro also keeps track of that is a little surprising, to say the least.

“I have a good memory. Sometimes I wish I didn't.”

“What—”

“My point is— you always did a good job acting as if you were Lance’s rival. So, maybe, just maybe, do that now, and it might help you focus on escaping. Don’t worry about _him_ , or about what he might be thinking. This shouldn’t be your main concern, not right now. Do you understand?”

And Keith doesn’t, not really, even more so because he never really tried to become anything to Lance other than a fellow paladin. But he can see what Shiro’s trying to say, and he knows he’s right. This wasn’t the time for him to be freaking out about Lance’s opinions on a weird situation. He had a full day to panic and internally scream to his heart’s content. Now, it was time to act.

“Yeah. I get it.” Keith clears his throat. “I’ll get us out of here. You’ll see.”

“That’s more like you.” If the noises around Shiro are to be trusted, his lion is causing some serious damage to the Galra. “Do you have a plan?”

“I’ll think of something.”

“Tell me if anything changes, will you? Allura’s worrying, too.”

“I will.” Keith’s skin no longer feels like rubber. It’s a good feeling. “Shiro?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.”

 

 

_Beep!_

(06:14) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** guys

(06:14) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** guys im

(06:14) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** shsjhkllllllllll

(06:16) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** heya lance

(06:16) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** sorry about the rescue thing :\ bunch of galra showed up and we were all trying not to die?? It was terrible

(06:16) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** are u ok?? I think allura’s going to try opening another wormhole after she’s done resting, she’s like half dead I think

(06:17) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** oh ok that explains it

(06:17) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** yeaaah sorry :\ shiro’s resting right now, his lion took some heavy damage

(06:18) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** (pretty sure Coran had to force him and Allura to lie down cuz both of them were crazy worried about you guys)

(06:19) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** COOL BUT

(06:19) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** I need some help?? help me

(06:20) **[ Green Paladin ]** We will! Once everyone’s back on their feet

(06:20) **[ Green Paladin ]** Also hi Lance!

(06:21) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** no I dont mean this kind of help

(06:21) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** its a different help

(06:22) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** what

(06:22) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** KEITH

(06:22) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** ITS KEITH

(06:23) **[ Green Paladin ]** What about him? :O Still ignoring you?

(06:24) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** NO??

(06:24) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** AND THAT’S WHATS WEIRD

(06:25) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** he’s so different???

(06:25) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** but also not really????

(06:26) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** he woke me up from my beauty nap all like ‘yo get up lance im about to solve all of ur problems cuz im so cool’

(06:26) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** (he didnt say those exact words but u get the idea)

(06:27) **[ Green Paladin ]** omg

(06:27) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** SO OBVIOUSLY I WAS LIKE ?????? very confused and scared but it just kept getting more intense

(06:27) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** like I tried asking him why he wouldnt talk to me before but he just cut me off all like ‘we dont have time to chat lance!!! I’m about to save us cuz im so cool’

(06:28) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** AND THEN he just casually kicked the door (like a lot) until some alien showed up and keith was like ‘take me to ur boss cuz im so cool’ at the alien

(06:28) **[ Green Paladin ]** You keep ending every single one of his sentences with ‘cuz im so cool’. Are you trying to tell us something?

(06:28) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** WELL HE WAS GIVING OFF THIS KIND OF VIBE OKAY

(06:28) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** also he was using that Deep Voice he uses sometimes for no reason like he’s trying to impress some babes

(06:28) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** what deep voice what

(06:28) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** I feel like we know a different Keith

(06:29) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** ANYWAY I tried to follow him outside cuz why not but he JUST

(06:29) [ **The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** HE PUSHED ME BACK INSIDE WITH HIS LITTLE FINGER??

(06:29) **[ Green Paladin ]** omg

(06:29) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** I KNOW RIGHT

(06:29) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** THEN HE SAID SOMETHING LIKE ‘you stay there, dont get in my way and dont cause any trouble, we will be getting out of this planet today and no one’s marrying anyone cuz yknow im so cool and I have beautiful thick brows’

(06:30) **[ Green Paladin ]** I like the bit about him having beautiful thick brows. You’re getting good at this dialogue thing.

(06:30) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** thanks pidge

(06:30) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** BUT YEAH HE WAS LIKE so manly and strong for no reason im still sweating

(06:31) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** what just happened?? How?? what

(06:31) **[ Green Paladin ]** Maybe they replaced the real Keith with a robot?

(06:31) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** pIDGE I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING

(06:32) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** is that really possible?? Oh god im gonna die im so nervous

(06:32) **[ Green Paladin ]** lance

(06:32) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** I mean he looked very real and even smelled like keith?? I think?? I didnt have time to smell him but yeah

(06:32) **[ Green Paladin ]** l ance

(06:32) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** but I really think they might’ve replaced him?? I have no idea why they would do that but WHAT IF THEY DID omg is keith even alive at this point…..

(06:32) **[ Green Paladin ]** Lance, I was kidding.

(06:32) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** oh

(06:32) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** .

(06:32) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** haha

(06:32) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** yeah me too

(06:33) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** no, dude, you weren’t

(06:33) **[ Green Paladin ]** It’s okay, Lance. We’re not judging

(06:35) [ **The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** ok so I just tried to do something that would help us escape and I totally failed

(06:35) **[ Green Paladin ]** (look at him trying to change the subject aw)

(06:35) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** some of the aliens are here right now?? Like inside our cell

(06:35) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** and they’re like asking about what improvements I would like to add to the cell (which is really weird and nonsensical but hey at least they’re talking to me)

(06:35) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** so of course I had to try something right, keith cant have all the glory

(06:35) **[ Green Paladin ]** Of course.

(06:36) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** SO I just grabbed one of them and we were talking and he wanted me to show that dusty couple portrait again

(06:36) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** and it’s like, totally a lady and a dude, so I told him ‘hey you know we’re two dudes…… are you sure this is a good idea…. We’re nothing like these guys in the picture’

(06:36) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** oh god

(06:36) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** BUT THEY JUST stared at me like I was stupid…………. Like one of them even laughed???

(06:36) **[ Green Paladin ]** lol

(06:37) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** so yeah just letting u guys know they dont really care about that (at least I tried I guess)

(06:37) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** yeah… well from what you’ve said it sounds like Keith has a plan?? Maybe just wait and see how that turns out?? idk

(06:37) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** hunk my buddy

(06:37) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** my man

(06:37) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** my fella

(06:37) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** you know this isnt how I operate

(06:38) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** im not just going to sit here and wait for keith to save me like im some video game princess excuse me

(06:38) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** I think I’ll try talking to these guys and try to get more info, yknow, see what’s up with this planet and their giant cannons

(06:38) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** yeah, that works too!

(06:38) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** just maybe dont let them brainwash you or something??? Like, be careful talking with them? They might try to influence you or something :( and keith isnt even around to help

(06:40) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** yknow hunk im starting to think YOU are the one who was replaced by a robot

(06:40) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** cmon, you know me better than that ;) I wasnt born yesterday, I can talk with these guys just fine

(06:40) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** maybe I can even convince them to just give our lions back? They’re so friendly

(06:41) **[ Green Paladin ]** lol Good luck (Hunk has a point though, maybe don’t get too cozy with them)

(06:41) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** sure thing!

(06:41) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** alright im off, got some aliens to sweet-talk xoxo

 

 

“Hey, you! Yeah, you. Come over here.”

The small creature — one of the bright-yellow Navguln — waddles towards Lance at a surprisingly fast pace.

“Yes, sir? How can we be useful to you, sir?”

“I like your manners.” Lance winks at the alien. They stare at him with big, goopy eyes. “I was kinda hoping you cold lend me a hand. Or a tentacle. Y’know, help me and whatnot.”

“I would love to help, sir! Please tell me how to help.”

“Well, I’ve been sitting in here for so long, you know, so I was thinking it’d be nice if I could go out for a bit? Stretch my legs and all that? So, yeah, if you could unlock that nice door thing, that would be super.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, sir.” The little creature looks down at two lumpy tentacles that seemed to act as a pair of feet. “You can’t leave just yet, sir. Very sorry. Terribly sorry.”

“ _What?_ How come?” Lance squints at the Navguln. “You let Keith out and he didn’t even ask nicely! He literally kicked the door! And you’ve let him keep his helmet. I’m sensing some injustice here.”

“ _Keef?_ What’s a Keef?”

“ _Keith!_ The guy that was locked up with me.” Lance says. The Navguln stares blankly at him. Lance sighs. “Guy with black hair? Looks, uh, human, like me? He was holding that gemstone thing with me when you found us?”

“Oh!” The Navguln lights up a little. “Your betrothed!”

“Yes! I mean, _no_!” Lance sort of expects Keith to jump out of one of the solid metal walls just to agree with him on that.

“No? Or yes?” Understandably, the little creature is confused.

Oh, boy.

Lance pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Yes, it’s that guy you’re thinking about. But, no, he’s not my, um.” His attempts at explaining it only seem to confuse the alien even more. Maybe he should just take the easiest route.”Actually— you know what? Yeah, that guy. My, uh, _betrothed._ ”

Somewhere in that planet, Keith is probably feeling the same pain as him. It’s a little comforting.

“Do you want to meet him, sir?” The Navguln waddles closer to Lance. “I’m sorry, sir. It was foolish of us to let the two of you stay apart from each other. Surely it must hurt!”

“Uh. Um. Yeah? Yeah! It hurts. A lot. I’m basically dying right now.” Lance puts a hand on his chest and winces, just to make it a bit more believable.

“Oh, no… This can’t be good. What to do, what to do?” The little alien starts to spin around frantically, and, before Lance can hold him in place, he jumps. “Oh! I know! I’ll send someone to return your betrothed to you, sir. Your Keef.”

“What? No, no!” This is the opposite of what Lance wanted; why are they so terribly helpful? Why can’t they just let Lance walk out on his own? “Just let me go to him! I’ll behave myself.”

“Thats… not possible, sir.” The Navguln seems to get smaller. “It’s not safe.”

“Oh, c’mon, I can handle myself just fine. If Keith can go, so can I.”

“No, sir, you don’t understand…” The alien sighs, tentacles glued to Lance’s left foot. “Your Keef wanted to speak to our leader, and it would be rude of us not to let him. But we’re already putting him at risk. If we put the both of you at risk, we’ll be doomed for sure, sir!”

“Risk? What are you talking about?” Lance frowns.

“I’m sorry, sir. We should have explained things better. It’s just— we were so excited, sir, we forgot to talk about the important things!” The Navguln changes color to a pale orange. “But don’t worry, sir. Everything will be fine once you get married to your betrothed and become our Emperor. You won’t have to stay locked up in here anymore.”

What.

“What?” Lance’s voice breaks a little.

“You won’t have to stay locked up in here anymore.”

“No, before that— did you say _Emperor?_ ”

 

 

_Beep!_

(08:50) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** Lance, how are things going?

(08:59) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** guess he’s still busy talking to the Nazgûl…

(08:59) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** *Navguln

(09:17) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** alright guys you wont believe this

(09:17) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** im feeling so wild I need to share this

(09:20) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** is anyone here at all??

(09:22) **[ Green Paladin ]** I’m here! What’s up

(09:22) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** heyheyey lance!!

(09:23) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** heyo guys

(09:23) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** can any of you talk to allura or shiro??

(09:24) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** sure?? I think they’re having lunch now and allura will try to open the wormhole again in a bit

(09:24) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** WOW ok tell her she doesnt have to do that

(09:24) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** wait what

(09:25) **[ Green Paladin ]** Did you guys escape??

(09:25) **[ Green Paladin ]** Wait, then how come you’re still talking to us through here?

(09:27) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** ok so there’s been a change of plans

(09:27) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** turns out we cant leave yet

(09:27) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** whAAAT what why

(09:27) **[ Green Paladin ]** I thought Keith was trying to come up with a escape plan?

(09:28) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** dunno what keith is up to, he still hasnt come back (but the lil guys told me he should be fine)

(09:28) **[ Green Paladin ]** ‘Should be’ fine?

(09:29) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** yeah I guess they cant be sure? But im p sure hes doing ok

(09:29) **[ Green Paladin ]** ‘cuz he’s so cool?

(09:30) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** LEAVE ME ALONE

(09:30) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** anyway this isnt about keith, I still have to tell him about this once he gets back but

(09:31) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** we cant leave this place for now

(09:31) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** if we do, these little guys are pretty much screwed for life

(09:33) **[ Green Paladin ]** Oh… Lance, you didn’t get brainwashed, did you?

(09:33) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** what?? No

(09:33) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** they can barely reach my hips pidge

(09:33) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** also they’re scared little babies, I showed them my lion impersonation and two of them started to cry

(09:33) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** (I mean my lion impersonation is pretty good but that was a lil too much)

(09:34) **[ Green Paladin ]** okay, but how come you guys can’t leave? Please don’t tell me you’re destined to be their saviors or something cheesy like that

(09:34) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** I mean you’re not 100% wrong

(09:34) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** but if you dont want me to tell you about it then I won’t 8)

(09:35) **[ Green Paladin ]** REALLy

(09:35) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** whoa what DUDE tell us im so confused

(09:37) [ **The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** alright dont freak out but

(09:37) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** I think we’ll have to do it

(09:37) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** do what???

(09:38) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** get married

(09:38) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** me and keith

(09:38) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** (he’s gonna k ill me)

(09:40) **[ Green Paladin ]** WHA T

(09:40) **[ Green Paladin ]** WHY

(09:40) **[ Black Paladin ]** Hello, Paladins!

(09:40) **[ Black Paladin ]** I hope you’re feeling well today!

(09:40) **[ Green Paladin ]** ‘hello paladins’ to you too shiro lol

(09:40) **[ Green Paladin ]** did you read lance’s news

(09:40) **[ Black Paladin ]** This is Allura! Shiro asked me to type for him. He choked on something while we were eating and now he’s coughing a lot. :( (Shiro told me this is a sad face. Am I doing it right?)

(09:40) **[ Green Paladin ]** lol I bet he was scrolling through the chat and had a mini heart attack with what lance just said

(09:40) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** Heya Allura!

(09:40) **[ Black Paladin ]** Hello, Hunk! :-) (I think adding a nose to these little faces makes them a bit more realistic)

(09:41) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** wassup hot stuff!!

(09:41) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** wait is it alright for me to say that now that im an engaged man

(09:41) **[ Black Paladin ]** No.  >:-( (This is my angry face.)

(09:41) **[ Black Paladin ]** Oh, but congratulations on your engagement, Lance! I don’t really understand what’s going on but if it’s something both you and Keith want, you have my full support! :-D

(09:41) **[ Green Paladin ]** lol

(09:41) **[ Black Paladin ]** lol?

(09:41) **[ Black Paladin ]** Is this one of the little faces? I can’t tell :-(

(09:43) **[ Green Paladin ]** OH that’s like me laughing

(09:43) **[ Green Paladin ]** (more like snorting and not actually laughing, to be honest)

(09:44) **[ Black Paladin ]** Oh, I see! Thanks for explaining it to me, Pidge. I thought about asking Shiro but he’s still coughing. Coran is trying to help him… :-| (This is my neutral face)

(09:45) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** ok can we focus a little less on Allura and a bit more on me getting married to keith thanks

(09:45) **[ Green Paladin ]** wow someone’s starving for attention lol

(09:46) **[ Black Paladin ]** lol :-)

(09:46) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** WELL you guys didnt let me finish my story?? It’s like super important guys

(09:46) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** also allura you dont need to open that wormhole for now, me and keith will need to stay here for a while

(09:47) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** turns out the navguln (had to type that like three times cuz it keeps correcting it to Nazgûl wth) are being enslaved by the galra

(09:47) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** whaaaaaattt I thought it was a safe planet

(09:48) **[ Black Paladin ]** It’s always the Galra…  >:-(

(09:48) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** yeah, they’re a bit stubborn though so the galra are just killing lots of them cuz they keep refusing to follow orders (those giant cannons I told you guys about?? The galra forced these little guys to make them)

(09:48) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** apparently it’s been like that for centuries, all because they have no one to lead them and protect them

(09:49) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** and they have this corny legend about their chosen emperor being the one capable to remove some gemstone from a statue

(09:49) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** the one you grabbed and keith tried to grab from you??????

(09:49) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** omgggggg

(09:50) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** YEAH to be honest I dont think we’re the chosen anything but yknow what if they want to believe im their emperor then who am I to stop them really

(09:50) **[ Black Paladin ]** Lance…  >:-(

(09:51) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** WHAT im just being honest with you guys??

(09:52) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** so yeah they’re keeping us locked up until we get married cuz they dont want the galra to find us, and they think we can save them from all the evil in the universe or something (but im p sure we dont have to stay here forever so thats good)

(09:52) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** also they want to give us tons of cool gifts because we’re like their gODS so you know im cool with that

(09:54) **[ Green Paladin ]** Alright, alright, but how the hell marrying Keith has anything to do with this

(09:54) **[ Green Paladin ]** not trying to be a downer by the way, you can marry him if you want to :)

(09:55) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** pidge sometimes youre so mean for no reason, what have I ever done to you

(09:56) **[ Green Paladin ]** :D

(09:56) **[ Black Paladin ]** :-D

(09:57) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** they need the two of us to marry cuz they always have two rulers apparently, the dusty painting they keep showing me is like the first lovey dovey couple who ruled over them or whatever

(09:57) **[ Black Paladin ]** Oh, so it’s like a diarchy?

(09:57) **[ Black Paladin ]** How interesting!

(09:57) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** diawhat now

(09:57) **[ Black Paladin ]** Diarchy. :-)

(09:57) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** uuuhhh yeahh sure that

(09:57) **[ Green Paladin ]** So, are you really going to do it?

(09:58) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** I guess so, yeah??? I mean if we dont we’re basically giving the galra more power and letting them destroy these people

(09:58) **[ Green Paladin ]** whoa

(09:58) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** ?

(09:58) **[ Green Paladin ]** I think I just didn’t expect you to be so mature about it?? So I’m sort of surprised

(09:58) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** same :P

(09:58) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** pIDGE im older than you of course I will be mature about things wow

(09:59) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** hunk how dare u

(09:59) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** it’s like no one in this team has any faith in me Wow

(09:59) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** of course I want to save the Navguln, what kind of monster do you think I am

(10:00) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** also being an emperor and getting all sorts of cool gifts sounds pretty cool

(10:01) **[ Black Paladin ]** Lance, I’m glad to see you’re putting someone’s safety before your own needs. It’s a noble act.

(10:01) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** at least allura trUSTS ME (see hunk, this is what you were supposed to say)

(10:01) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** what why me

(10:02) **[ Black Paladin ]** Actually, this is Shiro. Allura went back to the control room.

(10:02) **[ Black Paladin ]** Also, Lance, I think you should wait for Keith to return before making any big decisions.

(10:04) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** yeah of course, it’s not like we can get hitched if he doesnt want to anyway lol

(10:04) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** man I’ve been talking about this marriage stuff so much im actually getting used to it??

(10:04) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** like it was making me super uncomfortable just a while ago but now im just rolling with it

(10:05) **[ Green Paladin ]** Keith is in for a surprise when he gets back lol

(10:06) **[ Black Paladin ]** Speaking of Keith,

(10:06) **[ Black Paladin ]** Please try to be sensitive about his feelings when you tell him about your plan, Lance.

(10:07) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** his feelings???

(10:07) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** what, do you think he’ll be grossed out cuz he hates me or something?? Im like pretty sure he at least likes me a little you know

(10:07) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** one time I caught him staring at me and he didnt immediately look away or vomited or anything so yeah MAYBE he wants to be my buddy??

(10:07) **[ Black Paladin ]** …

(10:08) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** also its not like we need to be madly in love to do this?? They didnt tell me anything about being in love, they just need two people to get married and guide them

(10:08) **[ Black Paladin ]** Alright.

(10:09) **[ Black Paladin ]** Still, try to be careful with your words. It might be a sensitive topic for him.

(10:10) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** you got it sir

(10:14) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** I can hear voices coming from outside, I think keith my be back

(10:15) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** brb need to talk to my fiance

(10:34) **[ Green Paladin ]** oh god Lance’s so into this

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shiro is the True Space Hero™ in this story, he will save the galaxy alone while talking to you on the phone about your insecurities
> 
> also did you know 'i really like you' by carly rae jepsen starts to play inside Keith's mind every time he sees Lance (i know right that's wild)
> 
> anyway that's chapter 2! Hope you guys liked it! Let me know what you think maybe?? Thanks for all the kudos/commentaries/general support, they really made my day and helped me keep writing this thing!! yall great


	3. Chapter 3

Something incredibly round and heavy is thrown at Lance.

“Ouch! That’s my stomach, dude!”

As sure as death itself, Keith stood in the cell’s entrance. As usual, Lance finds himself staring at his eyebrows. How could they be so thick and nice-looking? Did he brush them? Could he maybe share some tips with Lance?

Keith directs his trademark Keith Glare towards Lance.

“Get up. We’re leaving.”

“What?” Lance’s voice breaks a little. “Leaving? We can’t!”

“We can. I’ve talked to their leader.” As if he’d eaten something particularly distasteful, Keith’s face contorts into a heavy frown. “It was… not very easy, but I’ve managed to convince him to let us go. With zero help from _you_ , of course.”

Oh, the nerve of him. Lance already feels like they have been been married for at least 40 years and this was just one more of their daily fights.

“What? You’re the one who didn’t let me follow you!” He crosses his arms, returning Keith’s glare with one of his own. “Besides, we’re not leaving. We can’t.”

“I just told you we can.”

“No, I mean— didn’t they tell you?! About the Galra occupying this planet, and the legends, and that stupid painting? Keith, they need us!”

Keith’s entire body twitches in place. It’s a funny sight, and Lance has to bite the inside of his cheeks not to laugh.

“Yes, I heard about it from their leader. I promised them we would look for new people to rule them— new Emperors.” Keith sighs. “That’s why they’re okay with us leaving.”

“What? Do you want us to just— take a field trip around space looking for two random people who can touch that gemstone?! We’re the first people to be able to do that in centuries, Keith! This could take forever!”

“I— I know!” Keith licks his lips. It’s oddly distracting. And a bit too fast for Lance’s taste. Wait, what. “But it’s either that, or— or…”

“…Or marrying me.” Lance offers.

There goes Keith again, twitching and changing colors faster than a kaleidoscope.

“Can you— Can you just not say that word—”

“What word should I use, then?” Lance throws his hands up in the air. What’s wrong with ‘marriage’, really? “Holy Matrimony? Wedding? Nuptial tie? _Casamiento? Matrimonio?_ ”

Keith’s eyes widen in a mix of horror and something Lance can’t quite read.

“Is that Spanish—”

“Yes, Keith, that’s Spanish. Can we just—”

“Al— Alright, no Spanish words.” Keith’s stuttering gets progressively worse.

“What? What do you have against Spanish?!” Really, now he’s just making Lance feel angry.

“Nothing, nothing, I just—” More stuttering follows. Keith exhales. “Do you really— Do you really believe that you, that us— that we’ve been chosen to rule these people? …Get real, Lance.”

“No, you get real!” And it’s now Lance’s turn to frown and look mean and masculine. Hopefully very masculine. “I don’t think we’re the chosen anything, and frankly, I don’t care, Keith. This isn’t about us, it’s about them! They need our help, and we can provide that help. I can’t understand why you’re so against it all. Sure, it’s probably not your cup of tea, but are we really going to focus on that? Above all the other giant issues right in front of our faces, are we just going to freak out about our wants and needs?!”

And, sure, maybe Lance has never won any public speech awards or yelled angsty motivational lines at his teammates like Shiro did, but damn, he’s proud of his little rant. And if his eyes are to be trusted — they usually are —, it must have had some impact on Keith, too, or else he wouldn’t look like a naked statue that just became aware of its own nakedness.

“So— you’re really suggesting— that you— you and me— that we—” It feels like Keith is using his own life force to be able to speak.

“Yes. I’m suggesting that we get mar—”

“Don’t—”

“…hitched. I’m suggesting we get hitched.” Lance offers him a tentative wink. “What do you say, partner?”

But Keith is frozen in place. He stays quiet. Very quiet.

“Keith, c’mon!” Lance puts his hands on his hips. “It’s just for a little while! We can, uh, get alien-divorced afterwards, if it makes you feel better? Dunno how that works, but it’s probably a thing, right? Right?”

For some reason, Lance’s perfectly soothing words only seem to worsen Keith’s condition. He shifts from a very solid blank expression to a mix of anger and incredulity.

“I. Am. Leaving.” Keith breathes between his gritted teeth.

“What—”

“I don’t care if you’re coming or not. I’m getting out of here.”

“Keith, you can’t— you can’t just leave m—” Lance starts to feel a little too helpless.

“I can, and I will, and you can— you can go and marry and divorce the entire galaxy for all I care!” The last few words are shouted out of his mouth before Keith stomps outside of Lance’s view.

Wow.

Okay.

It’s just Lance and the golden cell walls again.

It takes him almost a full minute before he’s able to properly close his mouth.

“What did he mean with ‘marry and divorce the entire galaxy’, anyway?… Wait, was that his way of calling me a _skank_?”

 

 

_Beep!_

**(11:03) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** guys I think keith just called me a skank

 **(11:05)** **[ Yellow Paladin ]** WHOAAA language

 **(11:05) [ The Handsome Blue paladin ]** u can blame keith for that

 **(11:06) [ Green Paladin ]** I doubt he actually used the word ‘skank’… also I’m assuming things didn’t go well with him?

 **(11:06) [ Yellow Paladin ]** omg pidge youre like 10 you cant say that word

 **(11:07) [ Green Paladin ]** I’m actually 14 hunk what

 **(11:07) [ Yellow Paladin ]** oh

 **(11:07) [ Green Paladin ]** Also, I didn’t say it, I typed it. :P

 **(11:08) [ Yellow Paladin ]** oh I guess ur right

 **(11:11) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** ok guys this will sound really weird but im kinda running out of time so

 **(11:11) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** can any of you give me tips on how to woo keith

 **(11:11) [ Yellow Paladin ]** ehjhsjskaasddjsk

 **(11:11) [ Yellow Paladin ]** jffhhskssk

 **(11:12) [ Yellow Paladin ]** sorry I got spooked by what you just said and spilled food goo on my screen

 **(11:12) [ Green Paladin ]** I don’t even know what’s happening anymore lol Lance lololol

 **(11:12) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** this isnt funny?????? I need to come up with something like real fast?????

 **(11:12) [ Black Paladin ]** Lance.

 **(11:12) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** SHIRO

 **(11:12) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** shiro do you know how do I woo keith

 **(11:13) [ Black Paladin ]** …I will just calmly assume that was you trying to make a joke.

 **(11:13) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** it wasnt im just desperate

 **(11:13) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** and youre like keith’s dad and keith’s mom and keith’s brother and keith’s family dog all in one so you must know the good stuff

 **(11:14) [ Black Paladin ]** …The ‘good stuff’…?

 **(11:14) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** yeah

 **(11:14) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** like whats his favorite pair of socks

 **(11:14) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** or his favorite snack (bonus points if it can be made by someone trapped inside a cell)

 **(11:14) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** or a pickup line that would make him give up on leaving you behind with weird aliens and also would make him want to marry you

 **(11:16) [ Black Paladin ]** First, can you tell me why do you need to know that?

 **(11:16) [ Black Paladin ]** I have a guess but I would like to hear it from you.

 **(11:17) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** um I thought it was obvious?????? I need to marry keith

 **(11:17) [ Black Paladin ]** And why is that?

 **(11:18) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** shiro ur starting to scare me

 **(11:18) [ Black Paladin ]** I’m just trying to understand the situation a bit better.

 **(11:18) [ Black Paladin ]** So, why?

 **(11:19) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** uhhhhhh cuz it’s the right thing to do??? Saving the aliens and all that?? Isnt that what voltron is all about

 **(11:19) [ Black Paladin ]** Fair enough.

 **(11:19) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** also they promised us a lot of cool stuff and weird space money?? For being their emperors and all

 **(11:19) [ Black Paladin ]** Lance…

 **(11:19) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** PIDGE pidge think about all the cool video games we can buy with the Navguln money!!! We can even try to get a tv or something so we can actually play them

 **(11:20) [ Yellow Paladin ]** pidge be strong he’s trying to buy your support

 **(11:20) [ Green Paladin ]** Video games?

 **(11:20) [ Green Paladin ]** I’m super sold. In fact, I think Keith and Lance should marry NOW.

 **(11:20) [ Black Paladin ]** …

 **(11:21) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** HA

 **(11:21) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** ok shiro sorry I was just trying to be honest

 **(11:22) [ Black Paladin ]** It’s alright.

 **(11:22) [ Black Paladin ]** You’re not actually… wrong. It would be beneficial for everyone to solve this problem peacefully.

 **(11:22) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** YEAH

 **(11:23) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** also keith’s plan is so dumb??? He thought we could just leave and travel thru the galaxy looking for new emperors for the Navguln???

 **(11:23) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** that could literally take centuries and I dont have centuries

 **(11:24) [ Black Paladin ]** That’s a good alternative, but you’re right. We don’t have time to do this. There are still many other planets that need our help.

 **(11:24) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** RIGHT it’s crazy

 **(11:24) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** shiro u should talk to keith, he’ll listen to you

 **(11:24) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** he always does

 **(11:25) [ Black Paladin ]** I could, but I don’t think that’s our best option.

 **(11:25) [ Black Paladin ]** Besides, I cannot force him to do anything.

 **(11:27) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** true….

 **(11:27) [ Black Paladin ]** You should be the one to talk to him, Lance.

 **(11:27) [ Yellow Paladin ]** Yeah! Shiro’s right

 **(11:27) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** what

 **(11:28) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** didnt I just try to do that??

 **(11:28) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** I told him we should get hitched and he freaked out on me

 **(11:28) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** and said he’d leave me here

 **(11:29) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** :’(

 **(11:30) [ Black Paladin ]** I think you just need to be a bit more careful with your words.

 **(11:30) [ Black Paladin ]** Keith is a lot more complex than you think he is.

 **(11:30) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** alright should I try flirting with him

 **(11:30) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** cuz thats what I do when a girl glares at me

 **(11:31) [ Green Paladin ]** lol

 **(11:31) [ Black Paladin ]** No.

 **(11:31) [ Black Paladin ]** …In fact, that might make things a bit worse.

 **(11:31) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** oh

 **(11:32) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** clearly you dont know how good I am at flirting shiro

 **(11:32) [ Black Paladin ]** I think we all do.

 **(11:32) [ Black Paladin ]** But when I said you should be more careful with your words around Keith, that’s not what I meant.

 **(11:33) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** see this is why YOU should talk to him

 **(11:33) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** I think it’s pretty clear I cant open my mouth without making keith angry at me for whatever reason

 **(11:34) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** also he values your opinion a lot, shiro

 **(11:35) [ Black Paladin ]** He values your opinion too, Lance.

 **(11:35) [ Black Paladin ]** More than you give him credit for.

 **(11:35) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** he doesnt?????

 **(11:35) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** I told him it’d be easier if we just married each other and he just looked at me like I was the stupidest thing he’d ever seen

 **(11:36) [ Black Paladin ]** But he listened to you.

 **(11:36) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** well yeah, he was wearing a helmet, he couldn’t exactly cover his ears

 **(11:36) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** also thatd be rude

 **(11:36) [ Green Paladin ]** lool

 **(11:37) [ Black Paladin ]** I meant to say he pays attention to what you have to say, because he values your opinion.

 **(11:37) [ Black Paladin ]** But Keith also has his own limits. You can’t expect him to behave in the same way you do.

 **(11:38) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** …ok maybe I was a little too intense with him

 **(11:38) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** but he was pretty intense with me too

 **(11:38) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** anyway it doesnt matter, it’s been a while, he probably left the planet by now

 **(11:39) [ Black Paladin ]** I doubt it.

 **(11:39) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** why? Did he tell you something??

 **(11:39) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** did you talk to him?

 **(11:40) [ Black Paladin ]** I didn’t. But it doesn’t seem like something Keith would do to you.

 **(11:40) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** yeah right…

 **(11:40) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** he got really mad at me

 **(11:41) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** like REALLY mad

 **(11:41) [ Black Paladin ]** I think it probably wasn’t just him getting ‘mad’…

 **(11:41) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** ???

 **(11:42) [ Black Paladin ]** Anyway, you should be the one to talk to him. This is something he needs to hear from you.

 **(11:43) [ Yellow Paladin ]** yep, my thoughts exactly

 **(11:43) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** ghghhhhhhhhhhhhhh alright fINE

 **(11:43) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** shiro can u at least give me some actual tips ur the keith expert here

 **(11:44) [ Black Paladin ]** I think you’re a bit closer to being a “Keith Expert” than me, Lance. :)

 **(11:44) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** what

 **(11:44) [ Yellow Paladin ]** dunno why but I get a little scared when shiro sends a smiley face

 **(11:45) [ Green Paladin ]** It can be kinda disturbing, yeah

 **(11:45) [ Black Paladin ]** What, why?

 **(11:45) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** sTOP CHATTING LIKE DORKS shiro for the love of space god give me some advice so I can flirt with keith properly

 **(11:46) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** I mean chat with keith properly (and maybe flirt a little so he’s a bit more interested in the marriage stuff yknow)

 **(11:46) [ Green Paladin ]** oh boyyy

 **(11:46) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** srry im pretty desperate

 **(11:47) [ Black Paladin ]** There’s not much I can tell you, to be honest.

 **(11:47) [ Black Paladin ]** Just… try to keep in mind that there are things about Keith you don’t know.

 **(11:47) [ Black Paladin ]** He also dislikes being pushed into a corner, but I think you already know that.

 **(11:48) [ Black Paladin ]** So, I’d say you should try to be as understanding as you can be, but it’s okay to just be yourself, too. Just try to read the situation before saying things.

 **(11:49) [ Black Paladin ]** You and Keith might be more alike than you think. You just need to learn to control yourself better around each other.

 **(11:50) [ Green Paladin ]** Yeah Lance you crazy animal stop losing control around Keith

 **(11:50) [ The Yellow Paladin ]** lol pidge

 **(11:51) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** what do u actually mean by ‘control myself’ shiro please stop speaking gandalf to me, regular english will do just fine

 **(11:51) [ Black Paladin ]** “Speaking Gandalf”…

 **(11:51) [ Green Paladin ]** to be honest Gandalf doesn’t even speak in riddles that much??? He’s a pretty simple guy most of the time

 **(11:52) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** shut up pidge I made that reference for you I was expecting a compliment

 **(11:52) [ Green Paladin ]** <3

 **(11:52) [ Black Paladin ]** I meant to say you both need to be more patient with each other, that’s all. Listen to him, and make sure he listens to you, too.

 **(11:53) [ Black Paladin ]** But no shouting. Shouting makes things worse.

 **(11:53) [ Yellow Paladin ]** idk dude feels pretty good to shout at the shower when im feeling stressed out

 **(11:54) [ Green Paladin ]** Ok guess that explains the weird ‘AHHHHH!’ noises I hear from your room now and then

 **(11:54) [ Yellow Paladin ]** yep, stress shouting

 **(11:55) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** ok got it no yelling at mullet boy

 **(11:55) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** anything else

 **(11:55) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** (still think he probably already left the planet and we’re just wasting time but yknow a man gotta try his best)

 **(11:56) [ Green Paladin ]** Hey, there’s always a small chance he’ll finally figure out how to use this chat thing and will feel bad when he reads your messages.

 **(11:56) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** damn ur right

 **(11:56) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** keith if youre reading this I want you to know I’d still hold your hand and call you partner even though you left me alone in an alien planet

 **(11:57) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** also we should marry and save the navguln

 **(11:57) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** SHIRO it’s been two minutes answer me man

 **(11:57) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** do you have anything else to say or can I go woo keith

 **(11:58) [ Black Paladin ]** Sorry, Allura wanted an update on the situation.

 **(11:58) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** tell her she’s a beautiful lady but keith smells better

 **(11:58) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** (just in case keith ever reads this yknow)

 **(11:59) [ Black Paladin ]** She asked me to send you this:  >:-O

 **(12:00) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** whats… what’s that

 **(12:00) [ Black Paladin ]** She says it’s her yelling at you to go after Keith.

 **(12:00) [ Black Paladin ]** (I agree.)

 **(12:00) [ Black Paladin ]** But since you asked if I had any advice left: try to keep the flirting to a minimum. And if you notice he’s uncomfortable, please stop.

 **(12:01) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** how do I know if he’s uncomfortable

 **(12:01) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** wait nvm allura is right

 **(12:01) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** I GOTTA GO I HAVE A KEITH TO WOO

 **(12:01) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** wish me luck guys

 **(12:02) [ Yellow Paladin ]** best of luck, buddy!

 **(12:02) [ Green Paladin ]** Kick his ass

 **(12:02) [ Green Paladin ]** Wait don’t, that might be bad

 **(12:02) [ Black Paladin ]** Good luck, Lance.

 **(12:03) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** mmmthanks gandalf

 

 

Leaving the cell was easier than Lance expected. At first, all the aliens seemed immensely worried at the possibility of him leaving and being instantly obliterated by a Galran ship (”I’m not that helpless!”, Lance pointed out, but a nearby Navguln shrugged and said “You have sticks for limbs, sir, we need to protect your tiny sticks”), but as soon as Lance started to clutch his chest and babble about how he could _not_ possibly stay apart from his beloved _Keef_ for such a long period of time, they all seemed a little more inclined to just let him go. That, and when Lance implied he might or might not be able to convince Keith to stay, well, that was more than enough to convince the Navguln he should definitely go and meet Keith (”Please convince him to stay, sir! Just for a little long, sir! We’ve already gotten used to your human smells, sir! We couldn’t wish for a smellier pair of Emperors!”).

According to the Navguln, the Red Lion should be locked up in a subterranean chamber, away from prying Galran eyes — that is, if Keith hadn’t already left. Which was, well, a huge possibility. More than a full Earth hour had passed since Lance had last seen Keith, charmingly stomping away from their small golden cell. There was no reason for Keith to be in the subterranean chamber with his Lion, and yet—

And yet, when Lance runs towards the (now unlocked) door to the hidden chamber, that is exactly where Keith is.

Granted, he can’t see Keith, but the signals of his presence are unmistakable: Red’s eyes have a strong yellow glow to them, and Lance can hear the soft rumble of her engine, even though she’s not moving. It’s either Keith, or a very, very skilled Navguln. Or maybe a very sneaky Galra soldier. Lance chooses to believe it’s Keith.

“Keith!” He yells at the Lion’s face, flailing his arms helplessly. A moment later, he remembers he can now use his helmet to properly talk with his teammates instead of screaming around, and clears his throat, tapping at the speaker. “Uh, Keith. It’s me, Lance. Do you think you can, um, let me in?”

At first, there’s only a vaguely familiar breathing pattern. Then, the voice Lance was hoping to listen answers him:

“Why?” It’s not said in a very friendly manner, really, but it isn’t too mean, either. Just regular Keith levels of anger. He can work with that.

“I thought we could talk?”

“We _are_ talking.”

“No, I mean—” Lance can’t help but groan a little. “You know what I mean. I want to talk while looking at your face, not at your… Lion. No offense, Red.”

A lengthy silence follows. Lance starts to mentally sing the periodic table song one of his old garrison teachers taught him, trying to keep himself calm and relaxed.

“Okay.” Keith says after what feels like at least a dozen years. “But only for a bit.”

Lance grins at the Lion.

“Sounds perfect. Thanks.”

Red’s mouth opens in front of him, and he climbs inside with the same ease as if he was getting inside Blue. The cockpit feels a bit different, though; everything around him is a bit too… red. There’s a red tint to the lights, and everything is painted in different shades of a faded pink or vivid red.

Keith is sitting on his (red) chair and stares at nothing in particular. He ignores Lance’s awkward glances.

“Can I sit here?” Lance points at the floor next to Keith’s seat.

Keith blinks at him.

“That’s the floor.”

 _‘I know it’s the floor’_ would have been a typical Lance-to-Keith answer, but Lance is trying really hard to be a gentleman. Well, sort of.

“Yeah, but it’s not like there’s another chair in here, right? …Unless you want me to sit on your lap?” Lance raises a brow. Oh no, he’s doing the flirt thing again, isn’t he?

Keith opens his mouth to answer, but Lance is faster:

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. These things, they just— they just appear in my brain sometimes, and I have to say them, you know? But I won’t do it again.”

And now Keith is the one raising a brow at him. Did he already mess it up beyond repair? Oh, great.

“…You’ve been talking to Shiro, haven’t you?” Keith asks.

“No? Not really?” Lance tilts his head slightly to the left in a desperate attempt to look more innocent. Except Keith isn’t buying it. Lance sighs. “Yes. Maybe. Why?”

And suddenly Keith is groaning in his seat, removing his stupid helmet and running a stupid hand through his stupid hair, and Lance’s attention is once again stupidly stolen by Keith doing something that shouldn’t really look _that_ impressive. Really, what’s wrong with Lance?

“…Lance, I don’t know what the hell Shiro told you, but you don’t have to act like a robot around me. I’m not made of glass. So just start talking.”

Lance forces himself to look away from Keith’s tousled hair and clears his throat.

“Right. You’re right. I’m gonna sit, then.”

Lance sits and starts to organize his thoughts. It’s a bit easier to do that without clouds of Top Quality Advice From Shiro floating around his brain. He decides to start with whatever comes to his mind first.

His gaze shifts to Keith’s seat.

“Mind me asking what you’ve been doing here since you left the cell?” Lance blurts out.

Keith stares at him.

“I was leaving.”

“Leaving?”

“Yeah. The planet.”

“…You’re just sitting there, though. The panels aren’t even on.” Lance snorts. “It’s been more than an hour. Did you really need a full hour just to sit down? Man, that’s gonna be one slow trip.”

Ah, there it is. The traditional Keith Frown he’s grown so familiar with.

“Oh, for the love of— You either say whatever you came to say, or I’m throwing you out and _actually_ leaving.”

“Okay, okay! Don’t get upset. Shhh.” Lance curves his lips into a small smile. He thinks he knows how he’s going to do this. Sort of. “I just wanted to ask you a few questions, if you’re okay with that.”

“…Alright.” Keith crosses his arms and leans back a little in his chair. “Ask away.”

“Nice!” Mirroring Keith’s movements, Lance shifts a little and crosses his legs on the cold floor. “So, I know you’re not a fan of this topic, but I’ve been curious about why you’re so against, well, doing that little wedding ceremony thing with me to save the Navguln.”

Keith’s eyes seem to grow three sizes bigger, and he presses his back against his chair. Lance adds in a rush:

“I’m not— I’m not going to try and change your mind, alright? I just want to know. You know I can’t force you to do anything, and I don’t want to. I just think we can understand each other a little better if we talk. And this is your Lion anyway, so, hey, if I piss you off, you can just toss me out!”

Keith blinks slowly at him. Once. Twice.

“That’s… surprisingly smart, coming from you. Did Shiro—”

“No, Shiro didn’t tell me to say anything! Man, you people really think I have nothing inside my head, huh?” Lance huffs in mild indignation.

“Oh, I’m sure you have at least a few bad pickup lines in there somewhere.”

And Lance is about to yell back at him because _wow_ , that was just plain rude and uncalled for, but when he sees the beginnings of a smile tugging at the corners of Keith’s mouth he feels a little discouraged, and just offers his own half-formed smile in response. For some reason, this makes Keith’s eyes grow bigger again before he looks away, as if suddenly distracted by a nonexistent fly.

“If you’re asking me about it, then I want to ask you something, too.” Keith says while casually staring at some point of the floor very far away from Lance. “Why are you so determined to help these people, anyway? How come you’re not freaking out at this?”

“You know what? Fair enough.” Lance grins at him. “But I asked first, so you have to answer first.”

Apparently, that wasn’t part of Keith’s plans. He groans a second time.

“…Fine.” There’s a small pause. Keith licks his lips, and Lance experiences a confusing sense of amazement for the second time in that day. “I… I guess… _Ugh_ , this sucks.”

Keith’s face is now buried in his hands, and, for the third time, he groans. Somehow, Lance is amused at the unexpected sight.

“What? What is it? You can tell me. You know I would never laugh. Ever.”

“Right.”

“ _Ever_.”

“I get it, Lance.”

And Lance decides to be patient and wait for Keith to come out of his improvised cocoon, because really, nagging Keith at this point would only make him get grumpy. With a weird sense of pride, Lance realizes he’s getting pretty good at reading Keith. Wow. Accidental engagements sure worked wonders if you wanted to learn more about someone.

A sudden noise escapes Keith’s lips, and he lifts his head from his hands, eyes still avoiding Lance.

…Wait.

Wait.

His face—

“I don’t… know how to say it. I feel like you’ll laugh at me no matter how I word it, and then I’ll get pissed off and try to kick you.” Keith lets out a small breath. “It’s just, um— these kind of things— stupid things like, uh marriage stuff—”

No, Lance wasn’t hallucinating. Nor was the cockpit’s light playing tricks on him.

Keith’s face was, in fact, bright red.

Sure, everything was a little redder than usual inside the Red Lion, but Keith’s face definitely wasn’t _that_ pink when Lance walked in moments ago.

Oh.

“Keith—” Lance pokes at Keith’s seat, eyes wide with sudden realization. “Keith, do you feel embarrassed talking about this kind of thing?”

“Oh, what gave it away? Couldn’t be my face going up in flames, could it?” Keith’s voice trembles a little as he tries to force the sarcasm out of his throat.

The only thing keeping Lance from screaming at this point is the fact that he also feel sort of speechless.

“So you’re, like, secretly super shy? Is that it? Did I get it right?”

And Keith’s eyes are now on him, looking somewhat feverish and lost. Lance swallows air without noticing.

“I— guess?” Keith’s gaze instantly avoids his face. “I know it’s stupid, you don’t have to tell me. But if you’re thinking I’m— I’m _gross_ or—”

“What? No! Keith!” Lance all but screams, jumping to his knees. Before he can understand what he’s doing, Lance’s hands take hold of Keith’s shoulders, slightly tugging at him. “Keith! Keith! _Keithkeithkeithkeithkeith_. There’s nothing wrong with being shy! It’s just how you are, buddy. Why would I think you’re gross?”

And Lance means it, there’s nothing wrong with it— except maybe his heart doing backflips inside his chest, and the sudden realization that _this guy is so damn cute how is this possible he was glaring at me two seconds ago I sort of want to die in his arms wait is this weird._ It’s only a matter of time before Lance loses it, honestly.

“Alright. Alright. Okay, you’re getting a little too close now.” Keith gently removes Lance’s hands from his shoulders, and returns to his previous position. There’s still a strong shade of pink in his cheeks, but it’s fading away now. He rests his head on one of his hands. “But yeah, there you have it. This kind of situation makes me uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable. So that’s why I was trying to avoid it in the first place.”

It takes Lance a bit longer to recover from his stupor, but he eventually gets there.

“Wait— ‘ _was_ trying to avoid’? You mean you’re not against it anymore?” His mouth drops open.

“I didn’t say that. We’re talking, aren’t we?” Keith says. He’s returning to his normal color now. “You’re not being a total jerk, so I’m trying to listen to you.”

Listen to him, and make sure he listens to you, too. Didn’t Shiro just say that? Lance grins to himself. He’s so damn good at this.

“You know, if that’s your only issue, I can make it easier for you.” Lance says with a smile.

“Really? How?” Keith quirks a brow at him.

“Well, it’s pretty simple, isn’t it? We can just make the whole thing a lot funnier than it sounds. I can wear something stupid so you can laugh at me. We can pretend to be different people. Maybe I can get Hunk to record weird fart noises to play during the ceremony.”

“Fart noises? Really?” And Keith sounds as condescending as usual, but there’s a hint of a smile at the left corner of his mouth.

“Yeah! You know, we can just make it really stupid, so you don’t feel embarrassed about it.”

“I see. And you don’t think making it stupid will only make me feel more embarrassed, I suppose?”

Lance opens and closes his mouth a couple of times. Damn, he didn’t think about that.

“I dunno. We can try different things? I guess I’m just trying to say it doesn’t have to be like an actual wedding, you know. I don’t think these guys have a church, anyway. So, you won’t be actually marrying me, you’ll be just, uh, walking around with me while everyone worships us, probably? You know, just two dudes in an alien planet, doing dude things and being dude friends.”

As bizarre as it sounds, something — something stupid about what Lance had just said — makes Keith snicker. It’s fast, but it’s there, and Lance feels like he’s just witnessed a small miracle.

“I guess. Maybe you’re right. Maybe. Don’t get too full of yourself.” Keith adds the last bit after Lance flashes him a confident grin. He then says: “Alright, Lance, I answered your question. Now—”

“You didn’t really answer it, I sort of figured it out myself while you were stuttering all over the place.”

“Oh, shut up. You got what you wanted, now it’s my turn.” Keith taps a finger against his thigh. Lance doesn’t know why he notices it, but he does. “So, Lance. What about you? Why are you so eager to help these guys all of a sudden? And how come none of this seems to bother you?”

“Oh, Keith, my poor Keith. My gentle, innocent red-faced Keith.” Lance rolls the words around his tongue to make them sound a bit more dramatic. Keith rolls his eyes. “Why would any of this bother me? I mean, sure, I do prefer it when I’m not locked up and told I have to marry someone, but, you know, if it happens, it happens, right?”

Keith doesn’t blush at the mention of marriage. Maybe he’s growing more resistant against it. Damn it. Well, at least he’s glaring, Lance realizes belatedly.

“I’ll need a better answer than that.”

“Oh, c’mon!” Lance crosses his arms in protest. “You didn’t even answer me! At least I gave you actual words instead of random sounds!”

“Alright, then you can get out. I’m going back to Shiro and the others.”

“What? Why?!”

“You’re not answering my question, you’re just saying the situation we’re in doesn’t bother you. And I already knew that.” Keith shrugs. “Give me an actual answer, and I’ll listen to what you have to say.”

By all of the space gods, why did that man have to be _so damn difficult_?

Lance makes a face at Keith.

“Alright, sure. I dunno what you want to hear, but I guess I’ll just keep talking until you’re tired of my voice.” Lance breathes in. “Okay, so. You asked me why I want to help, and, honestly, there’s no answer for that. It’s just what we do, isn’t it? Voltron. It’s about helping people. All kinds of people. I’m not trying to be a saint or anything, I’m just doing what we always do. At this point, it’s already sort of my thing. I don’t think about it, I just do it, and I think I like it. That’s all there is to it. Can I go to the second question or do you want a more detailed analysis, Your Highness?”

Keith doesn’t even flinch at Lance’s poor attempt at sass.

“That’s good. What about the second question?”

Lance stretches his fingers.

“That’s also kinda hard to answer. I mean, should any of this bother me at all? I think you’re just weirded out because you’re a shy guy, and I’m not. So, it bothers you for obvious reasons, but it doesn’t bother me, because, uh, I’m not bothered by this kind of stuff. Does that make any sense?”

“No.” Keith frowns. “No, Lance, it doesn’t. They’re not asking you to hug a dog, they want you— they want you to— to _marry_ —”

“Yeah, I get it, I really do!” Lance shrugs at him. “That’s what I’m telling you! I don’t see why it should bother me. They’re not forcing me to do it, they just want someone to help them.”

“Doesn’t change the fact that it’s being imposed on you.”

“I guess? But it doesn’t bother me? I mean, we’ll be helping them, right?” Lance throws his hands up in the air. “It’s not like they’re asking me to kiss the dude that used to bully me in grade school, you know, it’s not going to kill me.”

Keith lets out a small annoyed noise.

“Lance, you’re missing the point— In one way or another, you’re being _forced_ —”

“It’s not forced if I agree to it! I’m not being blackmailed, Keith.”

“Well it’s kinda like emotional blackmail—”

“—No it isn’t! They’re even willing to let us go if we really don’t want to do it! What’s wrong with—”

“—Besides, marriage should be a choice—”

“—Sure, Keith, but this isn’t even our home planet—”

“—You don’t even like guys—”

“I like girls _and guys_!” And if Lance shouts the words out of his mouth a bit too loud, it’s because he’s getting a little stressed out with all that pointless yelling. Really, what was the point of all this? What was Keith even trying to do? Keith—

Keith is sitting very still. He blinks at Lance. Once. Twice.

“You like what?”

“Guys. And girls.” Lance huffs. “Why, do you have a problem with that? Are we going to start another questionnaire about it?”

Keith blinks again. He reminds Lance of a man that’s just stepped out into the sun after years in prison.

“No. I don’t. Nope. It’s cool. Really cool. Cool.”

And then Keith just sits there, staring at nothing in particular, his eyes so wide Lance is worried they might pop out of his skull.

“You sure, buddy? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Me? No. I’m perfectly fine.” Keith’s answer comes a bit too fast, and he clears his throat. He’s staring at his own feet. “I’m sorry.”

“About what?”

“The, um, the questions. I shouldn’t have interrupted your answer. Sorry.”

“Hey, it’s cool.” Lance allows himself a small grin. “You scared me a little, though. Didn’t know you were so passionate about this stuff.”

“I’m, um, not.” Keith’s eyes dance around the cockpit. “I think I just, um, lost track of things there. Sorry.”

“That’s fine, you already apolog—”

Wait.

Wait a second.

“…Keith, why are you getting red again?” Lance pretends to squint at him.

Keith jumps at his seat, his very red face now turned towards Lance.

“I’m— not?”

“You are.”

“Already said I’m not. It’s probably the lights.”

“It isn’t.” Lance grins and scoots closer to Keith’s seat, trying to get a better look at him.

“Lance, I’m not—”

“Is it because of what I just said? About liking girls and guys?”

 _Poof!_ Keith’s lips are pressed into a thin line, and his blush darkens as he glares at Lance.

Lance feels his jaw drop.

This couldn’t be real.

This— he didn’t deserve such a treasure.

“Oh god, I made you blush.”

“No.”

“Keith, I made you go so _red_ —”

“Shut up.”

“But it’s cute—”

“Shut up or I will seriously throw you out.”

And Lance decides that okay, maybe it’s best for him to shut up, because as fun as it is to tease Keith, he doesn’t want to actually annoy him over something like this.

“Alright. But,” Lance stands on his feet slowly, glancing down at Keith with a half-smile, “You don’t have to freak out about it. I’m not gonna jump you, man. Even if we do get hitched, I’m not gonna get weird at you. I’m just one of your dude friends! So quit worrying about it.”

Keith offers him a deep frown.

“I’m not.”

“Good! We should probably stop talking about it before it gets weird. Wait, it’s already a little weird, isn’t it? Damn.”

“Your fault.”

“Says the guy who change colors at the mere suggestion of a marriage.”

Keith rolls his eyes.

“Should I even try asking you to forget about it?”

“Nope. It’s glued to my brain. Sorry, man.”

“Typical.” Keith stares at him, and Lance stares back, even though it isn’t exactly the most polite thing to do. Not that he cares. After a short shared moment of silence, Keith clears his throat. “Okay. I’ll think about it.”

“Think about what?” Lance asks. Did he miss something?

Keith’s natural reaction is, obviously, to frown at him.

“Are you really going to make me say it? …The, uh, wedding stuff. I’ll think about it.”

Lance finds himself unable to properly close his mouth.

“Keith—”

“I said I’ll think about it. I’m not exactly agreeing with your crazy plan. …Give me some time. As soon as I have a proper answer, I’ll let you know.”

“Okay. Okay. Cool.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

And if Lance feels a little nervous all of a sudden, he has no idea why or how that happened.

“You can leave now.” Keith points out.

“Oh! Right! Your lion. Yeah.” Lance’s feet shift in place. “I’ll just, uh, go back to that tiny cell. Who knows, maybe they’ll let me have my lion back, too.”

“Yeah. Give it a try.”

“Yeah.”

Before they can get lost in more endless loops of ‘yeah’ and ‘cool’ and ‘okay’, Lance makes his way to Red’s mouth.

“So, I’ll— whoa!” The ground slides beneath Lance’s feet; Red’s mouth opens sooner than he’d expected, and he’s tossed outside in a messy ball of paladin armor and hair. “Keith! I wasn’t done walking!”

“I know.” And— oh sweet space, Keith is smirking from inside his Lion. Lance wants to scream. A lot. “Thought I’d give you a booster.”

“Screw you!” Lance yells at him before Red’s mouth closes again, but he’s grinning, and so is Keith.

How’s _that_ for a bonding moment?

 

 

_Beep!_

**(13:58) [ Yellow Paladin ]** piiiiiiiidge pidge are u there

 **(14:01) [ Green Paladin ]** Hey Hunk! I’m here

 **(14:01) [ Yellow Paladin ]** oh thank god

 **(14:01) [ Yellow Paladin ]** ive been meaning to ask this for years but there was so much drama going on I didnt want to come off as shallow

 **(14:02) [ Yellow Paladin ]** so can I ask you something extremely important

 **(14:04) [ Green Paladin ]** sure thing! It might take some time for me to answer though, I’m kinda busy debugging this new thing I made

 **(14:05) [ Yellow Paladin ]** Thats fine

 **(14:05) [ Yellow Paladin ]** so my question is

 **(14:06) [ Yellow Paladin ]** HOW COME Lance has his own unique nickname here

 **(14:06) [ Yelow Paladin ]** I tried changing mine but there’s no option to do it??? I don’t even see any menus at all

 **(14:07) [ Yellow Paladin ]** so what am I missing here

 **(14:07) [ Yellow Paladin ]** I just want a cool nickname for myself this is important for me ok

 **(14:08) [ Green Paladin ]** Oh… :)

 **(14:08) [ Green Paladin ]** Yeah there are no menus, you can’t really change your nickname because it’s coded into the program pretty much

 **(14:08) [ Green Paladin ]** HOWEVER

 **(14:09) [ Green Paladin ]** I can do it…… for a price

 **(14:10) [ Yellow Paladin ]** omg what price

 **(14:10) [ Yellow Paladin ]** you’re making me sweat pidge I have no money

 **(14:11) [ Green Paladin ]** It’s nothing much… you just have to beat me at any kart game :)

 **(14:11) [ Green Paladin ]** literally any kart game in the galaxy

 **(14:12) [ Green Paladin ]** (of course, I’m sort of an expert in kart games, so don’t expect it to be easy.)

 **(14:12) [ Yellow Paladin ]** omg

 **(14:12) [ Yellow Paladin ]** so did Lance beat you

 **(14:12) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** gUYS GUYS GUYSB GUGYS

 **(14:12) [ Green Paladin ]** Yup.

 **(14:12) [ Green Paladin ]** I started to feel sorry for him at his 12th try so I kinda just let him win though :x

 **(14:12) [ Green Paladin ]** Speaking of the devil.

 **(14:13) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** jdklssssssssdd guys

 **(14:13) [ Yellow Paladin ]** hey Lance!

 **(14:13) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** hUNK

 **(14:13) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** hunk

 **(14:13) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** hunk have you ever noticed

 **(14:14) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** how cute keith is

 **(14:14) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** cuz he’s one cute devil

 **(14:15) [ Yellow Paladin ]** Is he?? I think he looks pretty average idk

 **(14:15) [ Yellow Paladin ]** (no offense Keith don’t be mad I love your jacket)

 **(14:15) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** WELL I USED TO THINK THE SAME BUT im wrong apparently im so wrong im gonna eat my own hands

 **(14:16) [ Yellow Paladin ]** Please dont???????

 **(14:16) [ Green Paladin ]** Don’t eat your hands ;\

 **(14:17) [ Green Paladin ]** Also, what happened? Did you guys talk? I’m guessing you did

 **(14:18) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** HELL YEA we talked

 **(14:18) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** actually I did most of the talking and keith just stood there looking good and stuttering but it was nice

 **(14:18) [ Green Paladin ]** Sounds like typical Keith behavior to me.

 **(14:19) [ Yellow Paladin ]** what about the wedding thing??? Did you guys sort it out

 **(14:19) [ Yellow Paladin ]** Am I supposed to come up with a best man speech? because I’ll need some time for that

 **(14:19) [ Yellow Paladin ]** and paper, I don’t think we have actual paper in this ship Im just saying

 **(14:21) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** I DUNNO I dnot know anything im a mess

 **(14:22) [ Green Paladin ]** Why? What happened?

 **(14:22) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** I tripped on my way out of keith’s lion and now my heart hurts

 **(14:23) [ Yellow Paladin ]** your heart??????

 **(14:23) [ Yellow Paladin ]** omg is that normal. Is that even a thing

 **(14:24) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** I dunno but it feels pretty gross

 **(14:24) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** I mean I feel pretty gross

 **(14:25) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** im like

 **(14:25) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** melted candy

 **(14:26) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** that weird piece of melted candy u find inside your coat’s pocket and you dont know how it got there but its making everything sticky and gross

 **(14:27) [ Green Paladin ]** Ew.

 **(14:27) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** DON’T EW AT ME thats me right now im that piece of melted candy

 **(14:28) [ Yellow Paladin ]** buddy are you ok, you dont sound very ok

 **(14:28) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** im not

 **(14:29) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** keith Destroyed me I need someone to avenge me

 **(14:29) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** hes so cute guys I wish I was kidding but im not even kidding he’s just a cute horrible young man

 **(14:30) [ Green Paladin ]** ‘A cute horrible young man’

 **(14:30) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** HIS FACE GOT SO RED WHEN HE WAS TRYING TO SAY WHY HE FELT UNCOMFORTABLE ABOUT THE MARRIAGE THING I almost died

 **(14:30) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** how can someone’s face get so red I dont understand but I dont want him to stop

 **(14:33) [ Green Paladin ]** Might be a disease.

 **(14:33) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** !!!!!! You think so????

 **(14:33) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** omg now im a nervous piece of melted candy what if he dies

 **(14:33) [ Green Paladin ]** It was a joke, Lance

 **(14:34) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** nndjffffffff dont tell me jokes I cant process jokes right now

 **(14:35) [ Yellow Paladin ]** lance

 **(14:35) [ Yellow Paladin ]** Lance

 **(14:35) [ Yellow Paladin ]** do you have

 **(14:36) [ Yellow Paladin ]** a crush

 **(14:40) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** well I’ll always have a thing for that handsome fella I see every time I look in a mirror

 **(14:41) [ Green Paladin ]** oh god

 **(14:42) [ Yellow Paladin ]** NO I mean do you have a crush on keithhhhhhhhhh

 **(14:42) [ Yellow Paladin ]** I’m your friend I have to know ok

 **(14:44) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** nah dude I just think he’s cute??? Pretty sure everyone would think the same if they saw him

 **(14:44) [ Yellow Paladin ]** mmmm

 **(14:45) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** what?? I can think people are cute without wanting to hold hands with them, geez

 **(14:45) [ Green Paladin ]** So you’re saying you wouldn’t hold hands with Keith if he asked you to.

 **(14:45) [ Green Paladin ]** Got it.

 **(14:45) [ Yellow Paladin ]** whoa thats brutal

 **(14:46) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** wOOOWWW guysssss guys I didnt say that stop making me sound like a demon

 **(14:46) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** also I cant see keith wanting to hold hands with me thatd be just

 **(14:48) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** yeah

 **(14:50) [ Green Paladin ]** ‘That’d be just yeah?’ lol

 **(14:51) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** YKNOW

 **(14:51) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** like yeah

 **(14:52) [ Green Paladin ]** I’ll pretend I get it because I have to keep my reputation as the smart member of this group

 **(14:53) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** >:( I bet hunk gets it

 **(14:54) [ Yellow Paladin ]** wait what

 **(14:54) [ Green Paladin ]** lol

 **(14:55) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** ANYWAY IM GOING TO take a nap

 **(14:56) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** my skin is probably terrible from all this stress I need my beauty sleep

 **(14:57) [ Green Paladin ]** gooooooood night

 **(14:57) [ Green Paladin ]** sweet Keith dreams

 **(14:59) [ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** har har

 **(15:02) [ Green Paladin ]** ;)

 

 

“…ance? Lance?”

Lance wakes up to weird noises coming from his helmet. He reaches out to it, sleepy fingers brushing against the blue paint. …Wait, could it be—

“Keith…?” He yawns. “I was sleeping, man.”

“I can tell.” A small chuckle.

“Wow, no ‘Sorry I woke you up, Lance’. Sure, just laugh at my pain.”

“Always.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Lance grunts. “What do you want?”

“I’m in.”

“What?”

Silence. Lance listens to what appears to be Keith’s slow breathing.

“I’ll do it with you, Lance. The, uh, marriage thing or whatever.”

Lance sits up so fast he feels like he’s left his soul behind him.

“You— you will?”

“Yeah.”

“But why?”

“Why not?” Keith sounds about as confused as him, but a lot less impressed.

“Well, I thought you hated it.”

“I don’t, no. I think… I think I was just being a little, uh, selfish.”

“Selfish? Why?”

“Lance.” Keith sighs. “I didn’t call you because I felt like answering a million questions, I just wanted to give you my answer.”

“Oh.” Lance blinks. His heart hasn’t calmed down since he identified Keith as the owner of the voice talking to him. “Alright.”

“We can tell them about it, tomorrow.”

“Tell who?”

“Are you sure you’re awake?” Keith sounds a little amused, and Lance wonders if he’s smiling. He probably isn’t. Probably. “The Navguln. They’ll want to know.”

“Oh. Right.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

“Right.”

Lance clears his throat. They’re doing the stupid okay-yeah-right thing again. “Then I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“I guess, yeah.”

“Alright.”

“Okay.”

“Yeah.”

“We really need to work on our conversations, don’t we.” Keith says.

“Yeah.”

“Lance, you sound a little weird.”

He does, doesn’t he?

It’s all a bit too intense for Lance, so he answers Keith in the only way he knows.

“I’m always weird when I’m around you, honey.”

“Okay, bye.”

“Keith!”

“Bye.”

“At least _pretend_ to flirt back!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sometimes you just gotta go crazy with the character development you know  
> (watch out dreamworks im typing words)  
> (can you tell I died halfway through writing this chapter, because I did)
> 
> im so happy i got to write some klances god bless the klances (spoilers: more klances are coming wowie)
> 
> THANK YOU so much for all the amazing support!! You guys are incredibly sweet!! Really hope you all enjoyed this chapter u v u


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in case anyone misses it, there's a small timeskip between chapter 3 and this chapter!

“Sir? Sir, we’re going to open the door.”

Lance groans to himself. Those damn little aliens.

“Again? It’s my room! Why can’t I decide if I want to open the door to you guys? I mean, yeah, I get it, it’s sort of like a fancy prison, sure, but—”

And, as usual, the heavy golden door is unlocked before Lance can finish voicing his displeasure with that (frankly ridiculous) situation. A tiny Navguln waddles inside, and Lance acknowledges the alien’s wide smile with a frown that would have made Keith proud of him (at least, he hopes so).

“A, present, sir!” The little creature bows.

A present—

Oh, _no._

“Oh, no.” Lance mutters, because he knows what’s coming. He wishes he didn’t, but he does. “Can, I, uh, can I check it later? I _really_ need to go see Keith.”

That’s not even a lie. He needs to see Keith, and he needs to tell Keith to stop being so damn _salty_ , it was just a little prank, so, really, there’s no need to—

“But it’s a present from your _Keef_ , sir!” The Navguln jumps in an awkward display of joy. “We’ve been told to deliver it now.”

A second Navguln appears behind the half-open door, and adds in a helpful whisper:

“The Keef was very persuasive, sir. He pointed his sharp metal toy at us. His eyes are so very dark… so dark… I had to hold my own tentacles to keep myself together. Very scary.”

A third one chimed in from the corridor:

“We’re totally going back to dictatorship once he’s sitting on the throne with you, sir. It’s so exciting!”

Lance wants to protest, because calling Keith scary is like saying Hunk’s evil, but he just puts both hands on his hips and stares at the Navguln in front of him.

“Okay, yeah, but I’m _sure_ Keith wouldn’t mind if I—”

“Sir, that’s not proper courting etiquette!” The little creature waves a tentacle dismissively at him.

“Excuse me, but I think I know a thing or two about wooing people!” It’s hard for Lance to express just how offended he is using just words. Really, they want to tell _him_ what’s appropriate for romancing the hell out of someone? _Him_ , of all people?

“We do not doubt your knowledge, sir! But, here in Navg, it is very rude to reject your betrothed’s gifts. Very, very rude.”

Lance wants to squeeze Keith for that. Aggressively. Angrily. Not tenderly at all. No.

He lets out a small defeated sound as the Navguln organize themselves to push something through the cell’s door. It’s big, hairy and — oh space gods, it _smells_ — Lance thinks it’s an animal of some sort, but it’s hard to tell when the creature isn’t moving. He spots a brown horn amidst coarse hair.

“Is it, uh, dead?” Lance asks. He tries to picture Keith slaughtering innocent animals. Wait, why is Imaginary Keith shirtless? He shouldn’t look good while killing animals. That planet is doing things to his brain.

“Not dead, no, sir! We don’t use dead animals as courting gifts. Those are only for newborn children.” The Navguln claps his tentacles, and Lance rapidly counts ten of them as they walk inside the room. “It’s just sleeping. It’s one of our Milky Bulls. Your Keef captured it himself. I hope you don’t mind the loud snoring and drooling, sir.”

Those sound like things Lance should dislike, but what he truly dreads is what usually comes _after_ the weird animal gifts. And, if the small group of Navguln inside his cell are any clue, he should be _very_ worried.

“Alright. That’s cool. Yeah. I love milk.” Lance nods enthusiastically. He gazes at the door. “So, I’ll just go and—”

“No, sir, not yet! The song!” The Navguln presses a wet tentacle to his leg. “He picked a song for you, too. Your Keef.”

Oh, god.

Keith, why.

How could he be so cruel?

If Lance was actually in love — and he wasn’t —, this would be the moment where he would fall out of love.

They’re not married yet, and Lance already wants a divorce.

“A song…? Which one?” Lance asks, dreading the answer he’s about to receive.

It’s going to be the three-hour-long song, isn’t it?

All the little Navguln smile as they answer in unison:

“It’s the ‘Ballad of the Unwilling Planet-Eater’, sir! We think it’s very romantic.”

Yep. That’s the three-hour-long song.

Lance sits next to his newly-acquired Milky Bull in silent horror as the cheery group of Navguln start singing.

 

 

 

_Beep!_

(22:07) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** remember when I said keith was cute a few days ago

(22:09) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** yep

(22:09) **[ Green Paladin ]** Yeah. Pretty good blackmail material if you ask me

(22:10) **[ Green Paladin ]** (just saying) :P

(22:11) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** well im taking it back

(22:11) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** keith is NOT CUTE

(22:12) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** his heart is full of darkness and revenge juice

(22:14) **[ Green Paladin ]** ‘Revenge Juice’

(22:15) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** did I tell you guys about the courting thing

(22:15) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** you complained about it to me last night but I didnt really understand anything??? So no

(22:18) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** WELL it’s like this weird thing where we have to give each other gifts for a while before we can actually get married

(22:18) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** (also theyre keeping us in separate rooms for some reason but at least I have my lion now)

(22:18) **[ Green Paladin ]** oh, a capitalist twist on dating! I like it

(22:18) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** pidge what

(22:19) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** at first I thought it’d be nice yknow, im pretty good at this sorta stuff, so I wasnt worried

(22:19) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** but then I got bored of collecting seashells for keith (theyre so hard to find??)

(22:19) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** also I felt a bit offended cuz I always tried to pick something nice and pretty for him but he just kept giving me these alien hairball thingies that are literally everywhere

(22:20) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** it’s like buying someone a nice expensive perfume for secret santa and you get something stupid like paper clips

(22:21) **[ Green Paladin ]** I wouldn’t mind getting paper clips, they can be pretty useful, you just gotta be creative lance

(22:21) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** pIDGE YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HE JUST GAVE ME RANDOM GROSS HAIRBALLS THAT ARE LYING AROUND LITERALLY EVERYWHERE he didnt even try

(22:22) **[ Green Paladin ]** Ah, romance…

(22:22) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** says the 12 yr old

(22:23) **[ Green Paladin ]** At this point I’ll just believe you guys are getting my age wrong on purpose.

(22:23) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** hehe :D

(22:23) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** ANYWAY I decided I was tired of being nice so I got him something that looks like a space sewer rat

(22:23) **[ Green Paladin ]** Savage

(22:23) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** I KNOW RIGHT and we can pick songs to go along with the gift so I picked one of the longest ones

(22:23) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** it’s around an hour long I think (there’s a three hour long one but I thought that was too much yknow I didnt want to kill him)

(22:23) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** (these guys are like really bad at singing you dont even want to know)

(22:24) **[ Green Paladin ]** oh, so it’s like a gift + serenade package! Neat

(22:24) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** so yeah I sent him my sewer rat and the long weird song and I thought that was pretty neat

(22:24) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** but then keith decided it was payback time cuz keith is a terrible person

(22:25) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** oooooh

(22:25) **[ Green Paladin ]** The plot thickens!

(22:26) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** and he picked the THREE HOUR LONG SONG and sent me some buffalo creature that smells like death and regret and im trapped in hell right now

(22:26) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** damn

(22:27) **[ Green Paladin ]** Savage x2

(22:27) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** so yeah I guess ill just stay here chatting with you guys for the next two remaining hours of this thing they call a song

(22:28) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** whats the song like :o im curious now

(22:30) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** its called ‘ballad of the unwilling planet-eater’ and apparently its supposed to be very romantic but its about a guy who eats planets and feels guilty after doing it or something

(22:30) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** relatable

(22:31) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** nO ITS NOT I hate this song

(22:31) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** I hate keith

(22:31) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** no you dont

(22:31) **[ Green Paladin ]** No you don’t

(22:32) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** whoa that was fast

(22:32) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** shiro please tell them I hate keith I bet they’ll take ur word over mine

(22:38) **[ Black Paladin ]** I really doubt you hate Keith.

(22:38) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** booooo

(22:39) **[ Black Paladin ]** In fact,

(22:39) **[ Black Paladin ]** I think you want to hold hands with him. :-P

(22:40) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** omg

(22:41) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** whoa that came out of nowherE

(22:41) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** shiro have u been drinking

(22:42) **[ Black Paladin ]** I have not! I am very responsible. :-)

(22:42) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** wait a sec shiro doesnt use smiley faces

(22:42) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** and no one adds a stupid nose to their smiley faces like that

(22:42) **[ Green Paladin ]** yeah you go lance crack the code!!!

(22:42) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** aLLURA IS THAT YOU

(22:42) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** ARE YOU GRABBING SHIRO’S ARM AGAIN AND TYPING WORDS FOR HIM this is not how text chat is supposed to work

(22:43) **[ Black Paladin ]** What gave me away? :-(

(22:44) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** the nose

(22:44) **[ Green Paladin ]** The - in the :-P and the :-)

(22:44) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** nose

(22:45) **[ Black Paladin ]** Oh… :-(

(22:45) **[ Green Paladin ]** its alright we won’t judge your emoticon preferences

(22:46) **[ Black Paladin ]** Thank you, Pidge! (What is an ‘emoticon’? :-O)

(22:46) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** it’s uh

(22:46) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** the lil faces

(22:47) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** guys is that a good enough explanation or should I look it up on wikipedia

(22:48) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** fORGET WIKIPEDIA I wanna know why are you typing for shiro again

(22:48) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** I mean its kinda cute but its also not because no one ever types for me so I hate the fact shiro receives this kind of attention and I dont

(22:49) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** do you want keith to hold your arm and type things for you

(22:49) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** yes

(22:49) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** *no (sorry typo)

(22:49) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** mmmmmmmmmmokay

(22:50) **[ Green Paladin ]** LOL

(22:51) **[ Black Paladin ]** Actually, Shiro didn’t ask me to type anything for him this time. I’m just taking advantage of the fact he fell unconscious during his training session to train my text chatting skills. :-)

(22:52) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** woW allura are u like

(22:52) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** holding shiro’s arm and typing on it while he’s passed out on the floor

(22:52) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** cuz thats messed up and it scares me

(22:53) **[ Black Paladin ]** Yes!

(22:54) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** oh my god

(22:54) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** omg

(22:54) **[ Black Paladin ]** Well, Coran thinks he just needs some rest, and I have brought a pillow for his head. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind me doing this. :-D

(22:55) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** that’s equal parts adorable and terrifying

(22:56) **[ Black Paladin ]** I also wanted to make sure Lance and Keith are doing fine. Keith talked to me earlier today but when I tried talking to Lance I just heard a lot of screaming. :-|

(22:56) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** oh sorry I think that was me trying to capture the space sewer rat I gave to keith

(22:57) **[ Black Paladin ]** It is quite alright! Thanks to Pidge, we can now use these text chatting devices to keep in touch.

(22:57) **[ Black Paladin ]** Did you hurt the poor rat? :-(

(22:58) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** ….I was screaming because it was trying to hurt -me-

(22:58) **[ Black Paladin ]** Oh, that’s better! I was a bit worried

(22:58) **[ Green Paladin ]** #savage

(22:59) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** gee thanks allura

(22:59) **[ Black Paladin ]** ????

(23:01) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** anYWAY back to what’s important (me)

(23:01) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** shiro isnt here to defend me but he can confirm I hate keith

(23:02) **[ Green Paladin ]** Really

(23:02) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** yeah

(23:03) **[ Green Paladin ]** I see…

(23:03) **[ Green Paladin ]** Say, Hunk…

(23:04) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** yeah?

(23:04) **[ Green Paladin ]** do you ever stop what you’re doing and

(23:04) **[ Green Paladin ]** think about how Keith will feel when he reads that Lance wrote that he hates him…?

(23:04) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** I do

(23:05) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** actually im doing it right now

(23:06) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** wOW there u guys go again making me sound like some super villain

(23:06) **[ Green Paladin ]** we’re not? I just think it would hurt… Keith’s poor little heart

(23:07) **[ Black Paladin ]** That is quite sad :-(

(23:07) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** wELL I MEAN I dont hate -hate- him

(23:07) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** I just

(23:07) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** ahjskdddkl

(23:08) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** he makes me feel weird sometimes yknow

(23:08) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** and it’s not the bad kind of weird but it’s also not the good kind of weird it’s just

(23:09) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** it’s WEIRD

(23:10) **[ Green Paladin ]** awwwwwwwwww

(23:11) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** ??

(23:12) **[ Green Paladin ]** you

(23:12) **[ Green Paladin ]** have

(23:12) **[ Green Paladin ]** a crush

(23:12) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** stop

(23:12) **[ Green Paladin ]** on him

(23:13) **[ Green Paladin ]** dammit lance you ruined my messages

(23:14) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** yeah cuz they’re dumb

(23:14) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** you know what

(23:14) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** I think pidge’s right

(23:15) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** HUNK BUDDY NOT YOU TOO

(23:15) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** dont betray me like this :(

(23:15) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** im not betraying you!! Im trying to help you

(23:16) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** bUT I DONT HAVE A CRUSH ON ANYONE

(23:16) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** except on myself

(23:16) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** cuz it’s kinda impossible not to

(23:17) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** alright but all you ever talk about these days is keith

(23:17) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** wELL MAYBE IT’S BECAUSE WE’RE BOTH TRAPPED IN SOME WEIRD ALIEN PLANET THAT WANTS US TO GET MARRIED I dont know

(23:18) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** its a v weird situation of course im going to talk about it

(23:19) **[ Green Paladin ]** Very weird??

(23:19) **[ Green Paladin ]** a few days ago you were perfectly comfortable with the whole thing and even criticized keith for freaking out about it

(23:20) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** well yeah im always up for criticizing keith

(23:20) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** and it’s not like im uncomfortable with it or anything… it’s like

(23:20) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** it just gets weirder as time goes by I dont know

(23:21) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** you’re using the word ‘weird’ a lot

(23:21) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** do you know what that means

(23:22) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** it means I feel weird

(23:22) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** no

(23:22) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** it means

(23:22) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** you feel love

(23:23) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** inside ur heart

(23:24) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** HUNK NO

(23:24) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** Y OU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE MY FRIEND NOT PIDGE’S FRIEND

(23:24) **[ Black Paladin ]** That sounds beautiful, Hunk!! :-O

(23:25) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** thank you! :)

(23:25) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** ): guys im being honest I dont have a crush on anyone trust me

(23:25) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** I can think keith is cute and kinda maybe nice looking from certain angles without wanting to kiss him thank you (pretty sure I already said that at some point)

(23:26) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** besides im kinda mad at him right now for making me listen to this thing for so long so yeah

(23:26) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** we believe in you lance

(23:26) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** we really do

(23:26) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** I’m sure you honestly think there’s no way you have a thing for keith

(23:26) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** but just because you think that doesnt mean it’s true :)

(23:27) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** goddamnit hunk

(23:27) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** I thought we were friends

(23:28) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** why

(23:28) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** im trying to help you!!

(23:30) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** I DONT NEED THIS KIND OF HELp

(23:31) **[ Green Paladin ]** keith and lance

(23:21) **[ Green Paladin ]** sitting in a tree

(23:21) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** kill me

(23:21) **[ Green Paladin ]** A-R-G-U-I-N-G

(23:22) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** oh thats better than what I expected

(23:22) **[ Green Paladin ]** just being realistic ;)

(23:25) **[ Black Paladin ]** Why is Keith never here? :-O Does he know about this chat room?

(23:25) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** uhh I think shiro said something about it to him??? Maybe he doesn’t know how to use it

(23:26) **[ Green Paladin ]** pretty sure I taught everyone how to use it but maybe he wasn’t paying attention idk

(23:26) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** yeah thats a good guess, I was pretty much dozing off during ur whole explanation no offense

(23:27) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** who cares anyway??? Not our fault if he’s a grandpa and doesnt know how to press buttons

(23:27) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** my grandpa is pretty good at pressing buttons :(

(23:27) **[ Green Paladin ]** well maybe it’s for the best that Keith doesn’t know how to use it

(23:28) **[ Green Paladin ]** who knows what that would do to Lance’s fragile existence

(23:29) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** eXCUSE ME

(23:29) **[ Green Paladin ]** I’m just saying you’d probably get even more nervous

(23:29) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** ??? what do you think I am??? some little girl with a crush??

(23:30) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** yes

(23:30) **[ Green Paladin ]** yes

(23:31) **[ Black Paladin ]** I don’t quite agree with your association between little girls and crushes, but yes

(23:31) **[ Black Paladin ]** :-)

(23:32) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** you know what

(23:32) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** im gonna teach keith how to use this thing

(23:32) **[ Green Paladin ]** oooh

(23:32) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** so he can defend himself

(23:32) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** and maybe me too

(23:33) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** not that I need his help but yknow since nO ONE’S ON MY SIDE

(23:33) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** NOT EVEN

(23:33) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** THE MAN WHO CALLS HIMSELF MY BEST BUDDY

(23:34) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** RIGHT HUNK

(23:36) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** sorry cant talk the oven needs me

(23:36) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** YEAH JUST GO AHEAD AND COOK SOMETHING DELICIOUS AND IGNORE MY FEELINGs

(23:36) **[ Green Paladin ]** I’m enjoying the drama, keep it up

(23:37) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** I cant believe I’m having to turn to keith for help

(23:37) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** he probably won’t even help me he’ll just change colors and freak out again

(23:38) **[ Black Paladin ]** Change colors?? Oh my :-O

(23:38) **[ Green Paladin ]** Well you did convince him to marry you just a few days ago, I’m sure you can convince him to defend your honor ;)

(23:39) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** maybe…..

(23:39) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** the song will be over in a bit (thank the space gods) so I think ill just head out and see keith

(23:39) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** its been a while since we’ve seen each other anyway I should go and make sure he’s still alive idk

(23:40) **[ Green Paladin ]** Are you nervous….

(23:41) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** pIDGE I SWEAR TO GOD

(23:44) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** alright bye

(23:51) **[ Black Paladin ]** Please be nice to each other! :-)

(23:53) **[ Green Paladin ]** Allura you should probably stop that before Shiro wakes up and sees you lol

(23:59) **[ Black Paladin ]** I just did.

(23:59) **[ Green Paladin ]** What?

(23:59) **[ Green Paladin ]** Shiro??? Is that you? lol

(00:01) **[ Black Paladin ]** Yes.

(00:01) **[ Black Paladin ]** My arm feels numb.

(00:02) **[ Green Paladin ]** lol

(00:03) **[ Green Paladin ]** Are you mad at Allura??

(00:03) **[ Green Paladin ]** Please don’t be, she was just trying to check on Lance

(00:05) **[ Black Paladin ]** What? Why would I be mad at her?

(00:05) **[ Black Paladin ]** She even brought me a pillow. I think that’s nice.

(00:06) **[ Green Paladin ]** ………..lol you two

(00:07) **[ Black Paladin ]** ?

 

 

 

It takes a bit of convincing, but the Navguln allow Lance to head out and visit Keith. They even offer to accompany Lance and play a song for ‘his beloved Keef’, which Lance politely refuses with a very fast ‘no, thank you, please, just, no’. He follows their confusing directions until he’s in front of what should be the door to Keith’s chambers; it looks very similar to his own golden, stupidly heavy door, and Lance knocks rhythmically on it.

There’s no answer. Lance knocks a second time, because he’s a patient young man (sort of) and his mother taught him manners.

Again, nothing but silence. Lance’s stomach backflips in protest; for some reason, standing outside Keith’s door already makes him nervous enough (he blames Pidge’s words for that), and not receiving any kind of answer only makes it worse. Could it be— Could it be that Keith was in danger? Did the Navguln do something to him while Lance was busy suffering through a three-hour-long serenade? Could it be that Keith’s suspicions were right all along and those slimy, innocent-looking aliens were actually a bunch of dangerous liars?

“Keith?” Lance calls, and he hates the way his voice trembles a little. “Keith, it’s— it’s Lance, buddy! Open the door, will ya?”

The narrow corridor remains quiet. Lance’s hands already feel all sweaty and gross. He doesn’t know why he’s so terrified at the possibility of Keith being in danger — it shouldn’t even be possible, they were given no concrete reason to distrust the Navguln, and Lance wasn’t stupid, he would have noticed if something— if _anything_ — he would’ve noticed it, right?

“Lance?” Keith blinks at him from the doorway. Somehow, while Lance was having his internal anxious monologue, Keith had opened the door to his room and was now staring at him with those stupidly innocent dark eyes.

“Keith!” Lance all but screams, pushing Keith inside the room with him. Keith’s eyes dance between Lance’s hands pressed against his chest and Lance’s nervous expression. “What took you so long? You should open the door when someone knocks on it!”

“Yeah, I’m aware, calm down.” Keith removes Lance’s hands from his chest with impressive speed. “Why are you so nervous, anyway?”

“Oh, why do you think? We’re in an alien planet! Who knows what could happen! What if they— What if you—” Lance groans. “Nevermind that! Why didn’t you just open the door?!”

“I did, didn’t I? You’re inside my room!” Keith’s voice matched Lance’s own annoyed tone. “I thought it could be another one of those serenades, but when I heard your voice—”

“Wait! _Waitwaitwait!_ That’s right!” Lance frowns at Keith, lifting his chin and staring him down. “I’m supposed to be _mad_ at you, not worried about you! Yeah, that’s right! Just forget those last five minutes! I’m mad at you!”

“Uh. What?” Keith takes a step back. “You’re not making any sense.”

“ _’You’re not making any sense’_ , yeah, you tell yourself that, young man!” Against Keith’s muffled protests, Lance pokes Keith’s chest with an accusatory finger. “ _Three hours_! You sent me a three-hour-long serenade! And a smelly cow!”

“It’s a bull.” Keith muttered, because he liked to be annoying, apparently.

“I don’t care! All I care about is that you made me sit through three hours of torture that I did not deserve!”

“Oh yeah?” Keith lifts one of his perfect brows. “That’s funny, ‘cause I remember you sent me a murderous rat and a super long song.”

“It’s _one hour long!_ That’s, like, a lot shorter than three hours!” Lance crosses his arms, finally removing his finger from Keith’s chest. “And the rat gets friendly if you whisper in its ear. Don’t ask me how I know that.”

Keith opens his mouth but doesn’t really say anything, then closes it with a sigh. Lance watches him pace around, and finds himself oddly distracted by it.

“…Alright, maybe I overdid it. A little.” Keith huffs. “But I’m not apologizing if you don’t apologize first.”

“What?” Lance wants to scream. “What are you, five?”

“You started it! You should apologize, too!”

“No, you started it! I gave you a bunch of nice gifts and you gave me _hairballs!_ ”

“I couldn’t find anything else!”

“Yeah, right! Then how come I found all those pretty seashells—” Lance points at the carefully placed seashells sitting behind Keith in a colorful pattern, and it hits him. It hits him hard. “—that you’re… keeping… in your room…”

His voice dies in his throat, and Lance can’t help but stare at the gifts, his gifts — all the seashells he picked for Keith, arranged in an organized display of color with so much care it almost looked like someone was preparing an exhibition. They weren’t tossed in a dark corner of Keith’s room, like the hairballs Lance received those last few days; _someone_ had taken the time to separate them by color and size. _Someone_ cared enough to do that.

And Lance didn’t know if maybe it was his fault for feeling emotional all of a sudden, because, really, this shouldn’t even mean that much to him, but it does, it just does, and his stomach is suddenly a mess of confused butterflies and fear, so much _fear_ , because he thinks he knows what that might mean, he thinks he might have known right from the beginning.

“What? What about them?” Keith’s voice is a distant echo. He crosses his arms. “…Lance?”

This is Lance’s rival, and also Lance’s betrothed for some reason, and he’s not supposed to like him that much, and he doesn’t, he really _doesn’t_ —

“I didn’t know you kept them.” Lance’s voice is small as he gestures towards the colorful shells.

“What? The seashells?” Keith looks at them for a moment, then turns back to Lance. “Oh. I just thought they looked nice.”

“They do look nice.” Lance was staring at Keith.

“Uh. Yeah.” Keith is doing that thing where he blinks a lot and avoids Lance’s eyes. It definitely shouldn’t look cute, and it _doesn’t_ , Lance tells himself. “…Should I throw them away or…”

“What? No! No.” Lance clears his throat. He could act like everything’s fine, but this is Keith, and there’s no point in pretending. “…I’m being weird, aren’t I?”

“…Yeeeah. A little?” Something about Keith’s expression tells Lance he’s not only confused but also a little amused. Keith’s expression also informs Lance about how Keith can still look pretty nice even when he’s confused with everything around him.

Those intrusive thoughts about Keith looking good are starting to get a bit too annoying. Lance clears his throat again, and shrugs.

“Alright, alright. Starting over. I’m sorry, ‘kay? Sorry about the serenade. And the rat.” Lance glances around the room. “Are you keeping the rat, too?”

“It, uh, sort of escaped last time I went out.”

“Escaped. Uh-huh.” Lance lifts a brow at him. “I heard you threatened the Navguln with your knife. You wanted them to send me that song as soon as possible, or something.”

“I didn’t threaten them!” Keith says, voice rising with indignation. “I was just… cleaning my knife… and it was, uh, sort of pointed at them.”

“Last time I checked, that counts as threatening.” Lance smirks, and Keith’s stuttering seems to get worse.

“I wasn’t— I was just—” Keith presses his lips into a thin line. “Anyway, I’m also sorr—”

“No no no, enough of that! I was just joking around with you, man. Relax.” Lance says, and the last part might also be directed at him — as fun as it is to tease Keith, his stomach is still doing the butterfly thing, and his heart may or may have not joined in. “I didn’t come here because of that. Sit down, I’m about to blow your mind.”

“Blow my mind?” Keith wears his usual skeptical face, but sits next to Lance.

“Yeah.” Lance winks at him, just because he can. “Tell me, grandpa Keith, have you ever heard of instant messaging? Texting? That sort of thing?”

Keith squints at him.

“I’m not a grandpa. But yes. I have. Is this how you expected to blow my mind…?”

“Oh, please, Keith, you know me better than that.” Lance waves a dismissive hand at him. “Gimme your arm. Left arm, I think.”

“What? Why?” Keith holds his left arm close to his chest, as if protecting a newborn child from Lance’s evil hands.

“Don’t look at me like that, I’m not gonna eat it! Just going to show you a little something.” Lance tilts his head to the side, trying to appear more innocent. “Please?”

“…Alright.”

Slowly, Keith lowers his arm until it’s within Lance’s reach. Lance pokes at it playfully before actually holding Keith’s arm and pulling it towards him. There’s nothing intimate about the gesture, but, still, Lance can’t help but feel a little awkward, so he pokes at Keith’s armor again, trying to lighten the mood.

“Wow. There are, like, zero muscles here.” Lance grins.

Keith is not amused.

“…If this is why you—”

“No, no! I’m really going to show you something cool. Don’t elbow my ribcage, I need that to breathe.” Lance inspects the armor covering Keith’s arm until he finds a familiar rectangle. “Oh, here it is!”

He presses a small button nearly hidden at the side of Keith’s arm for a few moments, and the white rectangle slides to reveal a small screen. A familiar _beep!_ greets them.

“…What…?” Keith’s surprised look is almost too endearing to be real. Almost. “…I never used that before…”

“See? Told ya I was going to blow your mind.” Lance lifts one hand from Keith’s arm and points a single finger gun at him. “It’s a chat device. Pidge added it to our armor suits a while ago.”

“What? A ‘chat device’?” Keith’s expression shifts into mild disappointment. “Can’t we just talk through our helmets…?”

“Yeah, but what if we can’t?” Lance waves Keith’s left arm in his hands for emphasis. “What if we can’t talk for some reason? What if, I don’t know, Zarkon cuts our tongues off? What if some banana-looking aliens steal your helmet because you were singing to yourself and they thought you were trying to escape their crazy marriage plot? That happened to me, by the way.”

“…You have a point. How do I use it?” Keith’s dark eyes reflect the blue screen.

“Good thing you have me around to teach you, huh?” Lance grins. “It’s pretty simple. The interface looks a lot like what we have back in the castle. You just touch the screen and stuff.”

“Okay.” Keith glances at Lance, then back to his arm, then back to Lance. “Can I… try it?”

“Huh? Yeah, go ahead.” Lance stares back at him. He still can’t understand how Keith’s eyebrows can be so perfect. It’s a bit infuriating, but Lance doesn’t really want to look away. He doesn’t think those kind of eyebrows would look very good on him, but hey, they look great on Keith’s face. Actually, Lance realizes with mild horror, everything else also looks pretty great on Keith’s face. His nose? Nice. His eyes? _Niiiiice_. His mouth? Well, you see—

“Uh. Lance?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I have my arm back? You’re kinda squeezing it.”

Lance looks down. His hands are still holding Keith’s left arm, perhaps with a bit more strength than necessary.

“Oh! Oh. Right. That. You need that. The arm, I mean.” Lance pretends he isn’t falling apart on the inside. What is wrong with him? “Here ya go.”

It’s only when Keith’s fingers are millimeters away from the glowing touch screen on his arm that Lance realizes the implications of what just happened — of what he just did. Keith can now use the chat device Pidge developed. Keith will be able to talk with everyone else through text messages, just like Lance had been doing these last few days.

Keith will also be able to scroll back and read older messages, sent before he started to use the little device, and maybe, just maybe, he will be able to see messages from a certain someone calling him cute and—

Lance never moved so fast in his life. Not even all those years ago, when a girl from his class threatened to beat him up in front of everyone for pulling at her pigtails.

Before Keith can understand what’s even happening, Lance slaps a hand against the tiny screen, his fingers colliding with Keith’s.

“You know what, I think— I think you probably shouldn’t use that.” If Lance sounds a little distressed, well, that’s because he’s _extremely distressed_ at the moment.

“What? Why?” Keith removes his fingers from under Lance’s, and frowns. “You just—”

“I think— I think Pidge mentioned something about it, being, um, unstable? Yeah. Look at my arm, it almost blew up like, five times, when I tried to use it.” Lance pretends to laugh, and points at his right arm. Wait, that’s the wrong arm. Nevermind, Keith will never know. “Also, no one really uses it, so, you know, maybe, just, um, forget about it?”

Keith squints, and, normally, it would look sort of maybe cute, but, right now, Lance is too busy panicking to notice Keith’s attractive features.

“You just taught me how to use it. Why are you freaking out like that?”

“Freaking out? I’m not freaking out!” Lance’s nervous laugh transforms into what sounds almost like a cackle. He is, in fact, freaking out. “It’s just that I forgot how unstable it is, you know, I was just trying to impress you with something cool and, and— I just realized, you know, maybe I should let Keith know this might destroy his arm! Hahaha. Ha.”

“You were ‘trying to impress me’. Am I supposed to believe that…?” And here comes Skeptical Keith, staring at Lance like he would stare at pictures of alleged Mothman sightings.

“Dude, I’m serious! You shouldn’t— you shouldn’t mess with that. Just, you know, forget about it. I shouldn’t have said anything. I just, you know, wanted to blow your mind.”

Keith stares at Lance. And he _stares_. And then he stares some more. Lance is pretty used to people staring at him and admiring his good looks, but this is the first time he’s being stared at by someone directly in front of him, and he tries to convince himself that’s the reason why his neck starts to get progressively warmer. He’s about to voice his discomfort to Keith (”Can you maybe look at something else before I start to scream, please?”) when Keith says:

“Alright.” He then presses the button Lance pressed a few moments earlier, allowing the screen to disappear under the cold metal of his armor.

Lance blinks.

“…‘Alright’?”

“Yeah, it’s fine. What, you want me to fight for it?”

“Isn’t that what you usually do?” Now it’s Lance’s turn to squint.

“Only when I feel like pissing you off.” Keith yawns, then stretches his arms. Lance is unsure if he wants to mock him or admire him. “Look, I don’t care about this stuff. I was only going to check it out because you mentioned it. If you don’t mind, I’ll just go and take a nap.”

But Lance isn’t entirely convinced. This is just… too easy. Too convenient. No. The Keith he knows would never take an order from Lance so easily. Not without making Lance go crazy a few times.

If anyone’s to blame, it would be Pidge and Hunk. If they hadn’t started pointing fingers at Lance and talking about his “crush” on Keith — his very inexistent crush, thank you —, Lance wouldn’t have marched over to Keith’s room to try and get his support, and none of this would have happened. Lance silently vows to stay mad at both of them for at least a full Earth day, but he already knows he can’t be mad at Hunk for more than five minutes, and with Pidge it might not be too different.

“Alright. Then I’ll just… go. You just go ahead and take your nap. And maybe don’t use the deadly device on your arm. Yeah.” Lance cannot stop squinting at Keith. Stupid suspicious Keith with his stupid mullet.

“Alright. Bye.”

“Bye.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

“See you.”

“Yeah.”

“…”

“…”

“Lance…?”

“Yeah?”

“Aren’t you supposed to leave?”

“Yeah. I’m doing. That. I’m leaving. Yeah.”

Lance purposefully takes his time getting to the door and opening it very, very slowly.

 

 

 

_Beep!_

(01:33) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** keith stop reading this

(01:33) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** I know ur reading this you cant fool me

(01:33) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** stop it its going to kill you

(01:33) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** and your arm

(01:37) **[ Green Paladin ]** …Lance…? You okay there?

(01:38) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** I am not

(01:38) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** wait keith might be reading this

(01:38) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** oh no did he just read that too

(01:38) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** keith dont get the wrong idea I dont care about what you read or dont read ok I just dont want you to blow up ur arm buddy

(01:39) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** ok ill admit im so bad at this oh my goD

(01:42) **[ Green Paladin ]** Is this, like, a married people thing? Is this why I don’t get what’s happening?

(01:42) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** OH PIDGE

(01:42) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** pidge

(01:42) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** buddy

(01:42) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** partner

(01:42) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** my favorite lady paladin

(01:42) **[ Green Paladin ]** almost sure I’m the only one at the moment, but I’ll take the compliment

(01:43) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** can you

(01:43) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** maybe

(01:43) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** block keith’s thing

(01:44) **[ Green Paladin ]** His ‘thing’?? Should I even ask

(01:44) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** YEAH like his access to the chat

(01:44) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** can you disable it somehow

(01:45) **[ Green Paladin ]** uuh not really, no?

(01:45) **[ Green Paladin ]** I mean it’s -possible- but that would involve blocking his access to our voice channels and other stuff because that’s how I coded it, for safety reasons

(01:46) **[ Green Paladin ]** so I’d rather not do that

(01:46) **[ Green Paladin ]** Why, is Allura also using Keith’s account without his permission? lol

(01:48) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** I wISH

(01:48) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** it doesnt matter I think im screwed anyway

(01:49) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** at this point im basically dead

(01:49) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** youll need to send my body back to my family

(01:49) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** so my mom can kill me again for dying in space without her permission

(01:51) **[ Green Paladin ]** Wait, what do you mean you’re dead? lol

(01:52) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** well if my heart doesnt kill me in a bit keith will

(01:53) **[ Green Paladin ]** oh, I think I’m starting to understand it

(01:53) **[ Green Paladin ]** did you maybe

(01:54) **[ Green Paladin ]** showed the messaging device to keith

(01:55) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** STOPSJD

(01:55) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** STOP TALKING I BET HE’S READING THIs

(01:55) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** he and that sneaky little mullet of his

(01:56) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** dont write anything else about this or I might die faster pidge please

(01:56) **[ Green Paladin ]** lolol alright, alright, sorry

(01:56) **[ Green Paladin ]** dunno why you’re so nervous but I’ll respect your feelings

(01:57) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** thank

(01:57) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** …can you at least check if he’s seeing these messages right now

(01:57) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** ugh I shouldnt be asking this because he can read it then he’ll know im asking and now he knows I know he knows im asking

(01:58) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** ahsgsdafssdgdfffffffffffffffff

(01:59) **[ Green Paladin ]** oh, I can’t actually check if he’s using the chat right now :\ technically all paladins are ‘using’ it 24/7, you can’t really disconnect from it

(01:59) **[ Green Paladin ]** and I still have to implement the code for knowing who read the messages everyone sent

(02:02) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** why life gotta be like this

(02:02) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** I was so happy yesterday

(02:02) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** with my weird arranged alien marriage

(02:03) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** and all the weird little courting rituals

(02:03) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** but now im just

(02:03) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** Dead

(02:03) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** im a dead man

(02:04) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** so young, so dead

(02:06) **[ Black Paladin ]** Lance.

(02:06) **[ Black Paladin ]** Are you worried that Keith might read your older messages? The ones about him?

(02:06) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** im

(02:07) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** gsshjfd

(02:07) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** shiro

(02:07) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** Shiro

(02:07) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** shiro why

(02:08) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** why did you have to type that shiro

(02:08) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** you just gave keith the worst possible idea

(02:08) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** he is reading this

(02:08) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** all of this

(02:08) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** he’s reading this and he’s cackling cuz you just gave him so much power

(02:09) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** shiro I dont know if I can trust you anymore this is too much

(02:10) **[ Black Paladin ]** Lance, there is no need to panic.

(02:10) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** oh THERE IS EVERY NEED TO PANIC SIR

(02:10) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** MAYBE NOT FOR YOU, WITH YOUR SMOKING HOT BODY AND A CUTE PRINCESS HOLDING UR ARM WHEN YOU’RE PASSED OUT

(02:10) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** BUT FOR ME, YES, I HAVE EVERY REASON TO PANIC AND USE CAPS LOCK

(02:10) **[ Black Paladin ]** My ‘smoking hot body’?

(02:11) **[ Green Paladin ]** did you just call shiro hot I am scared and also worried

(02:11) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** where’s the lie though

(02:11) **[ Green Paladin ]** hUNK

(02:11) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** sorry just being honest

(02:12) **[ Green Paladin ]** please let’s not call shiro ‘hot’ again he’s like 30 and reminds me of my dad

(02:12) **[ Black Paladin ]** I am not 30.

(02:12) **[ Black Paladin ]** But I’d also prefer it if we could keep my looks out of this.

(02:13) **[ Green Paladin ]** yes please thanks

(02:14) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** doesnt change how dead I am though

(02:15) **[ Black Paladin ]** Lance, Keith would never harm you, especially over something so small.

(02:15) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** im not scared of keith showing up on my doorstep with his spooky knife im just worried I might have a heart attack

(02:16) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** but I still believe its kinda possible keith might show up on my doorstep with his spooky knife

(02:16) **[ Black Paladin ]** Wouldn’t Keith participate in this conversation if he was actually reading it?

(02:17) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** nO

(02:17) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** HE’S BEING SNEAKY I CAN FEEL IT

(02:17) **[ Black Paladin ]** I don’t think Keith would do that.

(02:18) **[ Black Paladin ]** I think he would speak his mind if he had anything to say about your behavior in this chat room, Lance.

(02:19) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** shiro sometimes you type like a wikipedia page wow

(02:19) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** also Lance, do you wanna talk?

(02:20) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** im helping coran with the castle’s maintenance right now but I have my helmet on, we can talk if you want to

(02:21) **[ Green Paladin ]** aw look at that beautiful friendship

(02:23) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** hunk if I wasnt already engaged I’d propose to u buddy

(02:23) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** but thanks, I think im doing okay for now

(02:24) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** sort of haha

(02:25) **[ Green Paladin ]** you can tell Lance’s broken when he types ‘haha’

(02:25) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** alright buddy, but if you change your mind I’ll be here

(02:25) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** yeah, thanks

(02:26) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** oh someone’s knocking on my door

(02:26) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** dhjfffff

(02:27) **[ Green Paladin ]** !!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO IZZIT

(02:27) **[ Green Paladin ]** tell us

(02:28) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** I DONT KNOW OK GEEZ LEMME OPEN IT FIRST

 

 

 

Lance is very much not ready for this.

He tries to cling to the possibilities — maybe it isn’t Keith knocking on his door. Maybe the Navguln want to know what other improvements he would like to add to his room. Maybe the other Paladins arrived a bit too early and are trying to prank him. Hell, maybe Zarkon himself decided to visit and ask Lance for some skincare tips.

For nearly two minutes, Lance doesn’t move from his spot, too anxious to just open the damn door. Whoever is knocking doesn’t bother with identifying themselves, and it’s enough to make Lance want to scream (that’s been a recurring wish ever since they had landed on this planet). But the knocking becomes more insistent, and the knots in Lance’s stomach are even tighter now, because he knows there isn’t much he can do. He didn’t lie when he said he wasn’t worried about Keith being mad at him for whatever reason, he’s just — well, he’s just not ready to face him just like that.

 _I’ll just get it over with_ , Lance thinks. _I’ll just open the door and flirt with him or something. Maybe he’ll get too embarrassed to talk? Let’s hope so_.

Lance takes a deep breath and unlocks the heavy golden door.

“Hey babe, looking good.” Lance says a bit too fast, smiling at the empty space in front of him. …Wait, what—

Two Navguln are staring at him with wide eyes, their bodies so tiny they can barely reach Lance’s hips. One of them is carrying a small box.

“Sir, who’s ‘babe’?” The Navguln on the left asks, and, to Lance’s surprise, squints at him. “Were you expecting this ‘babe’ person? Your Keef will not like this…”

“What? No, no! It’s not a person, it’s a— nervermind. What are you guys doing here?” Lance points a finger at them. “And why did you knock? You never knock, you usually just barge in!”

“You complained about it earlier, sir. We’re trying to adapt to your habits, sir.” The small creature bows their head in a submissive gesture. “We’ve brought you a present. From your Keef, sir.”

Oh, no.

That’s almost as bad as Keith himself showing up at Lance’s doorstep. Shirtless. Wait, what. Where did that ‘shirtless’ come from.

“Oh yeah?” Lance pretends he isn’t dying on the inside. “He already sent me a courting gift for the day, so, uh, maybe just take that back—”

“It’s not a courting gift, sir! He didn’t even let us pick a song to accompany the gift.” The second Navguln’s lumpy shoulders sag down, as if saddened by Keith’s choice of not forcing Lance to listen to one of their horrible songs.

“Oh. Okay.” Lance blinks, taken by surprise. “So, it’s not another hairball, or…”

“We don’t know what it is, sir! We did not look inside! That would have been most impolite, sir!” The little creature trembles with indignation.

“Oh. Right. Yeah.” Lance stares at the tiny box. “…So, I guess I have to open it, huh.”

“Yes, sir. Please.” The Navguln shoves Keith’s mysterious “present” into Lance’s hands, and takes a step back. “Sir, if you wish to return your Keef’s gift, please call us. We’ll be happy to help.”

“We can sing him a song!” The other little alien added, their tentacles flailing around.

“Yeah, I… know that.” Lance forces himself to smile. “Well, see you guys around.”

The pair of aliens bows one last time before disappearing behind the now closed door.

And, because Lance is feeling a bit more brave, he decides to just get it over with and open the damn box. It can’t be that bad, right? Well, it _can_ , but Lance has always been somewhat optimistic, and he’s not going to stop now.

The box opens with a soft click. Inside, an old piece of… parchment? Alien paper? Lance’s not sure what word he should use for that. It looks like paper, but it’s a bit more yellow than your average earthling paper, and it smells funny.

One of Lance’s seashells is placed next to it.

Okay, he’s very confused.

It’s a pretty seashell, and, frankly, Lance likes it, but he has no idea why Keith is giving it back to him.

Lance decides to check Keith’s piece of alien paper for any additional information. Part of him is expecting an angry short note (”Hey, why did you call me cute in that chat thing? I am not cute. I am Edgy.”), even though it’s not exactly Keith’s style. Another part of him — the same part that often gets him in trouble for making him think it’s a good idea to flirt with the wrong aliens — decides it’s probably a love letter, because Keith was obviously very much in love with Lance’s terrific good looks. Something along the lines of “Hello Lance, you’re very handsome and cool, can you please just kiss me, look at how romantic I am, I’m even writing a letter”.

“Yeah, right.” Lance mutters to himself, and turns the tiny piece of paper around.

Keith’s handwriting is an angry, dark scrawl, but his words are much gentler than Lance had anticipated.

 

_Hey, sorry about that super long song. You apologized earlier so I should do the same. Also, sorry about those hairballs. I’m not good at giving gifts, don’t have a lot of practice. I tried to find a seashell for you but I don’t think there are any left after you collected so many for me, so thanks for destroying an entire ecosystem. I’m sending you one of my seashells instead. Hope that’s ok._

 

Oh.

Ooooh.

Ooooooh, _no_.

There it is. Yep. He won’t be able to deny it for much longer.

For the first time since their arrival, Lance allows himself to scream a little.

 

 

 

_Beep!_

(02:39) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** hunk?

(02:41) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** yeah?

(02:41) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** can we have that talk now? I need to talk with someone

(02:42) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** sure thing!! Gimme just a sec

(02:44) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** actually it might take longer than a sec

(02:44) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** thats fine, ill just yell at the walls in the meantime

(02:44) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** let me know when you’re available

(02:58) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** wow this wormhole is making me dizzy

(03:03) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** Lance, can you go outside real quick?? :)

(03:05) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** wait what??

(03:05) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** go outside???

(03:05) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** did you come all the way here??????

 

 

 

If Lance is losing his mind, Hunk probably already lost his a long time ago.

After Lance manages to convince the Navguln that yes, he can step outside of their little hideout without being immediately obliterated by Zarkon’s fleet — and that takes a good while —, he immediately spots the distant dark silhouette of Hunk’s lion against the purple-colored sky. The Navguln surrounding Lance try to stop him and convince him to go back inside (“It is dangerous! Dangerous, sir! Sir, please stop walking so fast! Sir, you’re making funny noises! Are you in need of assistance, sir!”), but Lance has a mission, and that mission is to talk with Hunk about how screwed up he is until his vocal cords no longer work.

When Lance finally reaches Hunk, he’s already surrounded by his own group of curious Navguln. They poke at Hunk’s legs and run in circles around him.

“You didn’t tell me these little guys were so cute!” Hunk lets one of the Navguln wrap a fat tentacle around his left hand, and waves it at Lance. “Hey, long time no see, huh?”

“You’re… here.” Lance says slowly. He then repeats it, transforming his simple sentence into a question. “You’re… here?”

“Well, yeah.” Hunk scratches the back of his head. He’s not wearing his helmet, Lance notices belatedly. “I know, I know, I could just talk with you through the speakers or something, but, you know, it’s not like we’d get a lot of privacy there, I mean, Pidge and Shiro would be able to hear everything, if they were nearby, not to mention Keith, and I don’t know what you want to talk about, but something tells me you’d like some privacy, yeah? And Allura would need to open a wormhole for me to approach the planet anyway, you know, so we can be in range of each other and use our speakers, like she did for Shiro when he wanted to talk with Keith that one time, but then I thought, hey, why don’t I just go there? I could just go there and see Lance! But then Allura tries to tell me it’s a bad idea, you know, because everyone will see the Yellow Lion landing from a zillion miles away, but hey, I can be a bit stealthy too, alright? And we’ll need to be here for the wedding anyway, you know, to kick some Galra ass after it, so I thought, hey, this is not a bad idea, I can just go there and—”

“I think I have a thing for Keith.”

The words just fly out of Lance’s mouth before he can stop himself (or Hunk’s monologue), and Lance suddenly isn’t sure of what to do with his hands, so he just crosses his arms and stares at Hunk a little more intensely than necessary. Hunk stares back at him and blinks.

“…Oookay. I was going to say it’s rude to interrupt someone when they’re talking, but you sound like you need to talk more than I do.” Hunk says with a small shrug.

Lance steps closer to Hunk, trying to say something, anything, preferably something that isn’t just a defeated grunt, but only a small confused noise escapes his throat. He ignores the Navguln jumping around them.

“Hunk. I’m so screwed, Hunk.” Lance grabs his friend by one of his shoulders, and squeezes him a little, just to make himself feel a little better.

“What? Why?” Hunk asks. “It can’t be that bad.”

“That’s what I was telling myself, too. Can’t be that bad, Lance. Maybe it’s just a small crush. So what if he’s cute? Half of the galaxy is cute. Yeah. I thought to myself, it’ll go away pretty fast once the next cute person walks by, y’know.” Lance lets out a strangled laugh. “Yeah right. Next thing I know, he sends me this cute apology note and I turn into a puddle of emotions. It’s so stupid. _So stupid_. I mean, who sends handwritten notes these days? In space? Hunk, we’re in space! Why is he like this?!”

“I dunno. I like handwritten stuff.” Hunk just smiles, and he’s so pure, Lance thinks, so unaware of the horrors Lance is going through. “What’s so bad about it?”

“Everything! Everything about it is bad! It’s destroying my heart!” Lance opens his closed fist to reveal a small, bright red seashell. “Look! He just gave me back one of the seashells I gave him ‘cuz he couldn’t find a new one for me! Who the hell does that?! And why is it so damn _cute_?! It shouldn’t be cute! I should think it’s stupid! Hunk, do you think this is cute or adorable? Would you think I was being cute or adorable if I gave you something you gave me before because I couldn’t find anything else for you?!”

“Um. No?” Hunk gazes around rapidly, as if trying to come up with an answer that will help Lance calm down. “Frankly, that sounds a bit rude.”

“Right?! It’s awful! And I _love_ it!”

“Well, I guess it’s nice he wanted to give you something.” Hunk pauses, and examines Lance’s confusing expression. He frowns. “Why are you so mad? I don’t get it. It’s not like this is your first time having a thing for someone.”

And Lance almost cackles again, not because Hunk is being funny — nothing is funny, at that particular moment —, but because talking with Hunk is making him more aware of just how bad he's got it for Keith.

“You’re right, it’s not, but— Keith’s supposed to be my rival!” Lance presses his hands against his cheekbones. “And it’s not— it’s not just that! I didn’t want to admit it, I really didn’t, because it makes me feel stupid and weird, but I really— I really _really_ like him?! Why?! Where did this come from?! Was it always sitting here inside of me, and I just didn’t notice it?”

“Honestly, I’ve been keeping it to myself, but I’ve always thought it was funny how obsessed you were with Keith back at the Garrison, even after he left.” Hunk lifts his eyebrows. “So, who knows? Maybe you had a crush all along? These things are complicated, man.”

Hunk confirms Lance’s worst fears, and, oh, no, it is that bad, isn’t it? This is what all those cheap romance novels warned him about, years ago — that nervous rush of feelings and all the intrusive thoughts, things he’d never experienced before, not even when the cutest girl in class laughed at one of his jokes back in sixth grade. It’s all a bit too overwhelming for Lance, and he slides down until he hits the rocky ground beneath them, sitting on the middle of a big group of blissfully unaware Navguln. They pile up behind him and attempt to braid his short hair, as they always do when Lance is innocent enough to sit down when they’re around.

“I still don’t understand why this freaks you out so much,” Hunk says tentatively. “I mean, you’re about to marry the guy! Most people don’t even get the chance to _see_ their crush every day.”

And Lance can tell Hunk is trying to help, he really is; but that new piece of information only makes Lance even more nervous.

That’s right. The wedding.

_Ohhh nnnnooo the weddingg—_

“I can’t. Do that.” Lance forces the words out of his mouth. His hands automatically grab fistfuls of rock and dark sand.

“Do what?” Hunk asks.

“The— the marriage thing. How— How—” Even Lance himself doesn’t know what he’s trying to say. “What the hell am I supposed to do? I— I convinced Keith we should do it, but now— I mean, it’s going to be so weird, ‘cuz I told him we could just do it as pals, but that’s going to be a huge lie, ‘cuz I have this _terrible crush_ on him, and if they make me hold hands with him during the ceremony or something—”

One by one, the Navguln jump from his back and waddle around Lance until they can see him properly.

“What do you mean, sir?” One of the Navguln asks, a troubled look on their face. “Do you no longer wish to marry your Keef, sir?”

“Please marry your Keef, sir!” Another Navguln pipes up. “I’m fairly sure he cannot live without you, and neither can we!”

“We need you and your Keef to rule us, sir!” A third one joins in the conversation. “You will not have to stay here forever, sir! We just need a little help!”

“Guys, guys, it’s alright, Lance isn’t going anywhere.” Hunk kneels down and offers a hand to the little creatures. They cover his fingers with their little tentacles. Hunk turns to Lance and lowers his voice: “Maybe we shouldn’t talk about it here. You should also probably sleep on it. You had a rough day, man, don’t worry about this right now.”

“How can I not worry about this right now?!” Lance doesn’t bother with lowering his voice. “It’s happening in, what, two, three days? What am I supposed to say to Keith? ‘Hey man, I know I told you there’s no reason to be embarrassed or anything, but I sort of have this giant crush on you and I’m terrible at hiding it, so maybe let’s pretend everything’s fine’?”

But Hunk wasn’t looking at him. His eyes grow wide at the sight of whatever’s behind Lance’s back.

“Um, Lance, I think you might want to leave this conversation for later.” Hunk says in a small voice.

“What now? Is Keith behind me, listening to everything I say? ‘Cuz that would be _fantastic_ , wouldn’t it.”

“Lance, please—”

And Lance turns around, half-expecting to see Keith standing behind them, maybe glaring at Lance with those incredibly dark eyes of his, because that’s what his life has become, one terrible accident after another. But it’s not Keith, it’s a ship— a large Galra ship patrols the skies, approaching them at an amazing speed, its rear emitting a large beacon of light.

“What, it’s just Galra.” Lance shakes his fists at the skies: “Go away, you dumb robots! I’m in the middle of a serious crisis right now!”

“Sir, we need to hide! Hide!” A Navguln starts to tug at his elbow.

“Hate to say it, but the little guy is right.” Hunk scrambles to his feet. “I think my lion got their attention. I should probably go hide it before, you know, bad things happen.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Lance sighs. “I’ll go and… hide in my cell with my sappy thoughts or something. Don’t get hurt, Hunk.”

“Same to you, buddy.” Hunk is already getting inside his lion. “And, Lance?”

“Yeah?”

Hunk grins.

“You should talk to Keith.”

He should _what_ now?

“No, _you_ talk to Keith! And tell him I don’t think he’s cute!” Lance yells back, but Hunk is already piloting the Yellow Lion away from Lance.

 

 

 

_Beep!_

(14:17) **[ Green Paladin ]** did hunk die

(14:17) **[ Green Paladin ]** why can’t I find him anywhere

(14:20) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** heyo pidge!

(14:22) **[ Green Paladin ]** !!! Hunk where are you o:

(14:22) **[ Green Paladin ]** I tried talking to you but your signal is out of range??

(14:23) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** oh, I’m not in the ship! I left last night

(14:23) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** im visiting the Nazgûl

(14:23) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** *Navguln

(14:24) **[ Green Paladin ]** whoaaa whatwhat you’re already there??

(14:24) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** yup

(14:25) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** lance was feeling lonely so I came to help :D

(14:25) **[ Green Paladin ]** is he doing ok?

(14:26) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** no

(14:26) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** he’ll be fine

(14:26) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** oh, hey lance!

(14:28) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** hello

(14:29) **[ Green Paladin ]** oohh there you are

(14:29) **[ Green Paladin ]** how about Keith? Did you guys see him?

(14:29) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** oh I didn’t visit him, he’s staying inside his room and they won’t let me inside :P but im sure he’s alright

(14:30) **[ Green Paladin ]** Oh man…

(14:30) **[ Green Paladin ]** So me and Shiro are the only ones left behind

(14:30) **[ Green Paladin ]** this is sad

(14:31) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** won’t be for much longer! The wedding is in, what, one full earth day?

(14:31) **[ Green Paladin ]** yeah I think so

(14:31) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** so allura will probably open the wormhole pretty soon

(14:32) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** dont hold your breath

(14:32) **[ Green Paladin ]** :o

(14:32) **[ Green Paladin ]** *holds my breath anyway*

(14:33) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** Lance…

(14:33) **[ Green Paladin ]** What happened?

(14:33) **[ Green Paladin ]** Did Keith run off with someone else? lol

(14:35) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** nothing happened

(14:35) **[ Green Paladin ]** okay…

(14:35) **[ Green Paladin ]** You’re pretty quiet today

(14:36) **[ Green Paladin ]** …keith, is that you pretending to be lance?? :o

(14:39) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** no, it’s regular me

(14:40) **[ Green Paladin ]** that doesnt prove anything :P

(14:42) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** sorry, im just tired

(14:43) **[ Green Paladin ]** okaay

(14:43) **[ Green Paladin ]** If there’s anything I can do to help, you guys let me know

(14:44) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** thank u pidge!!

(14:53) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** thanks

(14:53) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** if you guys dont mind I think I’ll go take a nap

(14:55) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** kay, im helping the little guys with the preparations, if you need me ill be at uh

(14:55) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** …that big round golden room at the end of the west tunnels??? Honestly I have no idea where I am

(14:57) **[ Green Paladin ]** don’t get lost :P

(14:57) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** I’m trying my best D;

 

 

 

_Beep!_

(18:22) **[ Green Paladin ]** Could be just my imagination, but…

(18:22) **[ Green Paladin ]** Lance sounded a bit down, earlier

(18:22) **[ Green Paladin ]** Hard to tell since this is just text chat but he usually talks a lot more than he did today

(18:28) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** Yeah…

(18:28) **[ Green Paladin ]** Is this why you decided to visit him?

(18:28) **[ Green Paladin ]** Did something actually happen and he didn’t tell us?

(18:33) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** well I dont think anything -happened- but

(18:33) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** lance needed some support so I came to see him

(18:34) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** dunno if he would be comfortable with me saying more than that

(18:36) **[ Green Paladin ]** oh, thats alright! I’ll just ask him myself once we land

(18:36) **[ Green Paladin ]** then if he’s comfortable with it I guess he’ll tell me? :o

(18:38) **[ Green Paladin ]** by the way, Allura is about to open the wormhole, so we can use our speakers to communicate with each other if anything happens

(18:40) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** awesome!

(18:40) **[ Green Paladin ]** Yeah! No more excessive typing for now lol

(18:41) **[ Green Paladin ]** We’ll just make a quick stop on a nearby planet to help some people with their cargo

(18:41) **[ Green Paladin ]** we’ve just picked their distress signal

(18:41) **[ Green Paladin ]** but it’s a nearby planet so we should be able to use our helmets to talk with you guys?

(18:42) **[ Green Paladin ]** pretty sure it’s within the speakers’ range

(18:44) **[ Yellow Paladin ]** sweet, see you in a bit pidge

(18:45) **[ Green Paladin ]** See ya!

 

 

 

 

_Beep!_

(20:27) **[ Red Paladin ]** Hello?

(20:35) **[ Red Paladin ]** Lance?

 

 

 

Maybe, just maybe, _maybe_ Hunk wasn’t that wrong.

Lance knows that, but he refuses to move. Right now, he’s comfortable — alone in the small golden space of his cell, staring at an incredibly golden ceiling. He’s been trying to sleep for the past six hours without any success; it’s bad enough he couldn’t sleep the night before, and now this? He doesn’t need a mirror to know there are dark circles under his eyes, and he probably looks like hell in a particularly nasty day. There’s a wedding waiting for him, just a few hours away, and he looks like absolute crap — who knew such a thing would ever happen to him? Good thing his mother wasn’t there to take pictures of the ceremony, or else his siblings would have a lifetime of ammunition to use against Lance.

Thinking of his family doesn’t help; now he feels miserable and lonely. This isn’t how a crush is supposed to feel, is it? Lance wouldn’t know; as easy as it is for him to flirt and play around, it’s actually a bit rare for him to develop honest feelings for someone.

His mind takes the usual route, and Lance finds himself thinking about Keith. Stupid Keith. Again.

Lance screams a bit louder than necessary, and throws his helmet across the room. It’s a good way to express his feelings, he thinks.

Only a moment later, a small group of worried Navguln unceremoniously walks inside, slamming the door open.

“Sir!” The tallest one yells at Lance. “Sir, are you quite alright? We’ve heard unnatural noises coming from this room!”

“I’m doing great. And there’s nothing _unnatural_ about my lovely voice, thank you.” Lance thinks for a moment, then announces: “I’m going out for a walk.”

That simple statement is enough to make all the Navguln gasp in unison.

“Sir, you can’t!” One of them attaches their body to Lance’s left leg. “It’s dangerous outside! The Galra might see you, sir!”

“Yeah, well, pretty sure I can deal with a Galra or two.” Lance examines his nails.

“But we can’t risk it, sir!”

“It’s very dangerous, sir! We cannot defend you! We are far too small!”

“It’s bad enough that your Keef is outside, sir! You should stay indoors.”

Lance all but twitches at the mention of the infamous Keef.

“Wait, Keith is outside?” Lance asks in a mix of worry and indignation, then adds: “How come _he_ can go outside whenever he pleases, and I’m always stuck inside this golden cube of doom?”

“He has problems with the word ‘no’, sir.” The small alien stares at Lance’s feet sadly. “We tell him not to do something, but he just does it.”

Yep, that sounds just like the Keith Lance knows and love.

“Alright, here’s the plan. You guys let me go outside, and, if I happen to bump into Keith, I’ll bring him back inside, safe and sound. Sounds good to you all?” Lance offers them a thumbs up, even though he’s pretty sure they don’t know the meaning of that particular gesture.

“But, sir… do you think you can convince him to come back with you?” One of the Navguln asks shyly.

A second alien slaps a tentacle at the Navguln’s round forehead.

“ _Of course_ he can do it! It’s his betrothed! Do you doubt the abilities of our future Emperor?!”

“…Yeah! What this guy just said.” Lance nods in agreement. “Leave it to me. If anyone can convince Keith to stop being a jerk, it’s me.”

To be honest, Lance is pretty sure the only living person that carries such power is Shiro, but, hey, they don’t need to know that.

Thankfully, that’s enough to convince the Navguln that yes, Lance should be allowed to go outside, like any other living being. He has no plans of dragging Keith back to the Navguln’s hideout, however; Lance just wants to stretch his legs and maybe clear his mind for a bit. If he happens to run into Keith, well, maybe it won’t be that bad. Maybe his mind is blowing things out of proportion.

It’s only when he’s already walking through the sandy plains surrounding the hideout that he realizes he forgot his helmet inside his room. Well, he’s not going to walk all the way back just for that. As far as he can tell, the local atmosphere isn’t trying to kill him, so he should be fine.

There are no signs of Galra activity, which is always nice. In fact, there are no signs of any kind of activity at all, which, in that particular night, feels quite nice. Lance usually dislikes it when things are too quiet, or when there aren’t that many people around, but, right now, he welcomes the silence.

Judging by how dark the sky is, it’s late in the night. There’s a gentle rumbling of water in the distance — the sea, as Lance likes to call it, or, the infinite pond, according to the Navguln (but Lance is pretty sure that’s just a dumb way to say the word ‘sea’). He’s been visiting the place in the last few days. It’s a good distraction — although that sea doesn’t look very similar to the sea he knows (at least, he doesn’t remember any beaches with pitch black sand and fluorescent purple water), it’s still the ocean, in some ways, and it reminds him of home.

Before he knows it, his feet are taking him towards the sound of the waves, and Lance doesn’t fight it. That’s most likely his favorite place in that entire planet — why would he _not_ want to go there? Hell, he might even go for a dip this time around; he’s not sure what that purple water might do to his beautiful skin, but, well, it couldn’t be that bad.

He’s nearly at the shoreline when he sees it.

Lance wasn’t kidding when he’d said to Hunk he would recognize that mullet anywhere, that one night back on Earth; it’s just how it is. Keith’s mullet was, for some reason, one of Lance’s strongest memories, and he truly feels like he would be able to pinpoint its exact location even if Keith was surrounded by a large crowd.

So, of course he’d be able to recognize it in a dark alien beach, at night.

Aside from running and maybe screaming a little, Lance doesn’t know what to do with himself, so he just stands there. Staring at the back of Keith’s head. Half of him hopes that Keith magically teleports back to his room. His other half wants to march towards Keith, hold him by the shoulders and—

“Lance?” Keith calls out to him, unaware of his inner turmoil. “Lance, is that you?”

Frankly, Keith looks a little stupid, dressed in full paladin armor (except for the helmet, which is nowhere to be seen) while taking a stroll on the beach. It’s like watching a little kid covered in an excessive amount of sunscreen from head to toe running around in the beach. But Keith has this weird power that allows him to stay cute regardless of how stupid he looks, and, frankly, Lance thinks it’s a bit unfair.

“Hi.” Lance says, almost robot-like, once Keith is close enough to hear his voice. His smile probably makes him look like he’s in pain at the moment.

“…Wow, you look kinda horrible. What’s up?” Keith glances at him and blinks, and, oh, curse him and his long eyelashes and—

…Did he just call Lance ‘horrible’?

“It’s been at least a week since I’ve been able to do my skincare routine. This is what happens, I guess.” This time, Lance’s smile is a bit more genuine.

“That’s crazy.” Keith inches closer, trying to take a better look at Lance’s perfect face, and Lance can feel all of his organs jump in protest. Really, this is too much. “Are you sure it’s just that? You have dark circles under your eyes.”

“I’m— pretty sure, thank you.” Lance discreetly takes a step back. He clears his throat. “So, uh. What are you doing here?”

“Oh, I was just walking around.” Keith says nonchalantly, but he has that overexcited air of someone who’s dying to share a new discovery with other people, and, frankly, the only word appropriate to describe his looks is, again, _cute_. Adorable. Lovely. Maybe a bit sexy. What. “Did you know about this place?”

“What, the beach?” Lance asks. Yes, he’s definitely staring directly at Keith’s eyes.

“I guess you can call it a beach?” Keith shrugs. “I don’t usually care about this kinda stuff, but I was digging around and looking for more seashells last night, and I found these crazy runes buried in the sand? I mean, look at them. Don’t they look kinda suspicious? There’s just so many. They kinda look like those symbols at the cave where we found the Blue Lion, so I’m trying to see if they have any meaning behind them...”

This, Lance realizes, is a side of Keith that team Voltron doesn’t get to see that often — passionate, almost starry-eyed Keith, a Keith who loves weird conspiracy theories and newspaper clippings, the same Keith who’d spent years of his life living in a little shack in the middle of nowhere. To Lance, the little marked rocks in Keith’s hands are about as meaningful as words written in ancient Greek, but he can tell this is important to Keith, and he can’t help but pay attention to his endless rambling.

“So, what do you think?” Keith asks once he’s done explaining the sheer magnitude of his stroll at the beach. “Can we maybe try to show these to the Blue Lion? See how Blue reacts?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Totally.” Lance nods and tries not to get lost in thoughts about how that pure excitement suits Keith’s features, and, oh, he’s got it _bad_. “But maybe not right now. Hunk almost got caught by the Galra when he landed here a while ago, so we should probably avoid using the Lions for the time being.”

“That’s… surprisingly rational, coming from you.” Keith lifts a brow at him.

“What do you mean, _surprisingly_ rational? I can be perfectly rational!” Really, Lance can’t understand why he likes this guy so much.

“I didn’t say you can’t, I just think it’s pretty rare.” Keith pulls the left corner of his mouth into a little smirk, and Lance swears he could jump in the ocean right now just to escape his own heartbeat.

A slightly evil idea pops up in Lance’s mind.

Before Keith can fully understand what’s happening, Lance grabs a fistful of wet dark sand and tosses it directly at Keith’s face.

“How’s _that_ for surprisingly rational?” And it’s Lance’s turn to smirk.

For a second, Keith doesn’t answer him or moves at all, and Lance panics — did the sand get in his eyes? The dark grains were considerably bigger than your average grain of sand from Earth, so how could that be possible? —, until Keith suddenly bends down and fills his hand with a generous amount of dark sand, aiming it at Lance; Keith throws it at him, but Lance jumps out of the way and the sand projectile barely touches his shoulder.

“Oh, c’mon, Keith, that was just sad.” Lance’s hands are on his hips, and he’s smiling.

Keith’s eyes suggest his body has been taken over by the soul of a war veteran, several dark grains of sand clinging to his cheeks and nose.

“Oh, it’s on now.”

And their battle begins.

It’s hard to tell how long it lasts; they’re too busy running and laughing like a pair of idiots to take notice of the passage of time. Keith isn’t nearly as good as Lance, obviously — _of course_ mullet-boy wouldn’t be able to aim his shots as fast as Lance does —, but he does manage to hit Lance’s ass with a particularly large heap of sand, which results in Lance screaming and falling to his knees while Keith struggles to breathe and laugh at the same time. Lance gets his revenge when he successfully hits Keith’s open mouth with one of his sand projectiles, causing Keith to let out a small, choking noise of horror as Lance wipes tears from the corners of his eyes.

Eventually, they both sit down and try to catch their breath, legs stretched out in front of them. Lance watches the gentle rhythm of the purple waters for a few moments, until his eyes invariably return to Keith’s, and, oh great, Keith is also looking at him, and his mouth is curved into a nearly invisible tiny smile that spreads itself to his eyes, and, well, Lance is so damn screwed he might as well explode.

“Let’s not do it,” Lance blurts out.

Keith blinks.

“Do what?”

“The marriage thing. Tomorrow.” And Lance is no longer looking at Keith, eyes stubbornly gazing at a few distant purple waves. “Just— let’s not do it.”

A comfortable silence settles between them. This is what Keith wants, Lance realizes a few moments later; he didn’t like the idea from the start. Maybe he feels at ease, now. If that’s the case, then Lance is also perfectly happy.

“Why?” Keith breaks the silence, and there’s a hint of irritation to his words. “Where the hell did this come from?”

Okay, so maybe Keith doesn’t exactly agree with Lance’s decision.

“Well, I’ve been thinking, you know, and I don’t really think we absolutely need to do it.” It’s a bad lie, but it’s all that Lance can come up with at the moment. “I mean, really — it’s not like it’ll magically fix anything, right?”

“The hell you’re talking about?” Keith asks. Okay, he’s definitely a little mad now. “We’ve been through this. You know they won’t accept Voltron’s help unless their Emperors tell them to do so. We’ve already tried that. And they want us to become their Emperors.”

“Yeah, but it doesn’t have to be _us_. Let’s just find new Emperors for them.”

“Are you serious?” Keith is glaring at him; Lance doesn’t need to look at him to know that. “You’re the one who said finding new Emperors for the Navguln would take too long! You’re the one who convinced me to do this! So why the hell are you suddenly against it?”

“I’m not— against it, I just think—” Lance tries to come up with a second lie. Nothing comes to his mind. Oh no, he’s panicking. “—I just don’t think it’s okay to force you to do stuff like this. You know, I feel like I’m just forcing you to do something you don’t want to—”

“Oh, so now it’s my fault?” Keith gets up. He’s staring down at Lance. Lance wants to die. A little. “Are you seriously trying to say you’re doing this for my sake?”

“Look, I just—”

“Because if that’s the case, you don’t have to bother with me. I’m not being forced to do anything. _No one_ forces me to do _anything_.” Keith nearly spits the words out of his mouth. “So, be honest: are you saying this because of me, or because you don’t want to do it anymore?”

Lance looks up at him, and, oh god, nope, time to stare at his feet again before it gets too dangerous. Maybe Shiro is right; maybe Keith has the necessary qualities to become a good leader. Lance could never be _that_ brave, and he likes to think he’s already pretty damn brave as it is.

Lance sighs.

“I can’t do it. That’s all.”

And there’s silence again. Lance is aware that he should probably get up and face Keith properly, but the sand feels comfortable and safe, and he doesn’t want to move from his spot.

“Why?” Keith sounds a little defeated, and Lance gazes at him. Oh, no. “I thought you were okay with it. You didn’t seem to mind.”

“I didn’t, it’s just—” Lance stutters. Great, he’s turning into Keith now. He might as well start blushing. “I dunno, I think it’s too much for me. I think now I know how you felt back then, when you didn’t want to do it.”

Something in Lance’s words seems to hit Keith hard, and he directs an indignant glare at Lance.

“No, you don’t. You have no idea.”

Another lengthy silence follows. Lance wonders if he should try to apologize, but, with the way things are going between them, he’s a little scared that opening his mouth might make Keith want to strangle him.

Surprisingly, it’s Keith who breaks the silence.

“Is it— Is it because of me?” Keith’s voice hardens. “I know we’re not— I know you’re not my biggest fan, but— we don’t have to like each other to do this.”

Lance stares at Keith.

Keith avoids his gaze.

Okay, that was just too ironic. Lance nearly laughs.

“You think I don’t want to do this because I secretly _hate_ you or something?” Lance asks while trying to repress a smile.

“Shouldn’t that be obvious?” Keith mutters.

“Oh boy, I wish I had that problem.” Lance rubs a hand against one his cheeks. There’s sand everywhere — his hair, his face, even in his ears. “Nope, that’s not it, Keith.”

“Then what is it?”

“Well I can’t just _say_ it!” Lance crosses his arms and goes back to staring at his feet. Nope, he’s not going to say it.

“Why not?”

“Because!” Lance turns his gaze back to him. At this point, Keith should know _why_. He read the chat log, didn’t he? There’s no way he didn’t. He _knows_.

Lance squints at Keith.

Keith blinks. There’s sand in his hair.

“What?” Keith asks. “Because what? And why are you looking at me like that?”

“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re trying to do.” If Lance squints any harder, he won’t be able to see anything.

“What are you even— I’m not trying to do anything!”

“You’re trying yo make me say it.”

“Say _what?_ ” Keith lets out an exasperated breath.

“You know what!”

“I really don’t?!”

“Stop playing innocent! _That thing!”_

“I’m not playing— _what_ thing?!”

“My thing for you! Me having a thing for you! You know, that thing people call _having a crush on some stupid, not-cute boy!_ ” Lance shouts the words out of his mouth. He’s dead anyway, he doesn’t really care. Okay, maybe he cares a little. “There, I said it! You happy now?”

But Keith doesn’t look happy. Well, he doesn’t look unhappy, either. He looks… blank. It’s weird. If Lance didn’t know better, he’d said Keith looks at least a little surprised, but that couldn’t be the case. He read the chat logs, didn’t he? He couldn’t have missed all those times Lance gushed about how cute Keith was. And there is no platonic interpretation for _that_.

Still, there’s no response from Keith. He just… stands there, looking at least fifty percent paler than usual.

Really, at this point, Lance would be happy with any reaction, really. Even if Keith tried to punch him. At least he would know Keith feels _something_.

Lance is trying to think of something — anything, _please_ — to say, when Keith sits back down next to Lance.

“Can you repeat that?” Keith asks calmly. It’s like someone replaced the real Keith with a talking cardboard cutout.

Lance allows himself a small scream, because _really_.

“What are you, a torturer? I’m not saying that again! Not if you’re going to react like this!”

“Okay.” Keith doesn’t protest, and simply nods. Very slowly.

“Besides, you already knew.” Lance frowns at him. “And don’t tell me you didn’t. I won’t fall for that.”

“I didn’t know.” Keith’s voice is so small that Lance needs a moment to understand him.

“Oh, please! You read the chat, didn’t you?” Lance points an accusatory finger at him, but Keith doesn’t even move. “I mean, sure, it was my fault for teaching you how to use it in the first place, but you could have respected my privacy or something! I told you not to use the damn chat! Weren’t you worried about your arm exploding or something?”

“I _did_ read the chat.” Keith admits. He sounds so calm, so peaceful. Lance is a little annoyed. Why is he the only one freaking out all the time? “But— but you didn’t say anything about— about—”

He doesn’t finish his sentence, but his light pink cheeks betray him. Lance smiles without noticing it.

“About my _crippling crush_ on you?”

Ah, there it is. Keith is changing colors again. It’s too dark to see, but Lance is almost positive he’s about as red as his Lion.

_Cute._

“…Yeah.”

“Well, I _did_ say you were cute a bunch of times, and other stuff I don’t remember. It was so obvious everyone started teasing me.” Lance snorts. “Even Hunk. Can you believe it? _Hunk!_ He was supposed to side with me, but _nooo._ ”

“I thought you were making fun of me.” Keith says. He doesn’t acknowledge Lance’s feelings towards Hunk’s violent betrayal, which is rude.

“Making fun of you? Yeah, because being cute is _terrible_ , right?” Lance can’t help but snort again. “Oh man, I wish the guys who bullied me back in third grade did that to me. ‘Hey, let’s make fun of Lance! Hey Lance, you’re so damn cute! Ha! Take that, loser!’ That would’ve been wild.”

Keith doesn’t react. It’s like Lance’s awkward confession separated his soul from his body. Lance doesn’t know if that’s good, bad or just plain terrible, but he doesn’t want to pressure Keith into giving him any kind of answer, and decides to just wait. Heck, maybe Keith will just ignore it. Maybe the whole thing is just too uncomfortable for him to process. Lance can’t blame him.

“…So, this is why I can’t do it.” Lance says after nearly a minute of silence. “Probably sounds stupid to you, I know, but, hey, now you know. …I should probably go back to my r—”

“I don’t think it sounds stupid.” Keith is frowning again. In fact, he’s frowning a lot. Oh no. Deep Frowning Keith is never a Good Keith. “But I don’t see how it changes anything.”

“Uh. Excuse me?” Lance returns his frown.

“I mean, okay, you have— _feelings_ for me or whatever, but this doesn’t have anything to do with the Navguln, or the arranged marriage. I don’t see why this situation should be a problem for you. It has nothing to do with your feelings, or mine, or anyone’s. You said it yourself, a few days ago — it’s just a ritual, isn’t it?”

Oh, now he’s done it.

Lance opens and closes his mouth at least half a dozen times before he’s able to get the words out. Really, this is just too much.

“Oh, I’m sorry, are you saying my feelings don’t matter and I should just step all over them?”

Keith’s eyes widen.

“What? No—”

“You kinda sounded like you were saying that.”

“No. No!” Keith looks like he’s about to panic, and, for once, Lance is glad he isn’t the only one having a mental breakdown. “I’m just trying to understand your side of things.”

“Well, _my_ side of things is that I wouldn’t care if I had to marry this entire planet in order to protect it, because that’s not so bad, you know? Sure, I’d rather not do crazy stuff like that, but, hey, if I have to, why not? And, really, Keith, I was totally fine with the idea of marrying you to save this planet, because, hey, maybe we’re not the best of friends, or maybe you really hate me or something, but it’s just a ceremony, right? Not a big deal! It’s actually kinda funny, when you think about it! But then I start to have all these feelings, or maybe I had them since a long time ago and it took me forever to notice them, and suddenly I don’t know if I want to do this anymore, because it feels like I’m making a fool of myself, you know? It feels like something that shouldn’t have any meaning to me turned into one hell of a big deal, and when I think of me getting married to you it _hurts_ , you know? It hurts because this is a joke to everyone, it’s a bit of a joke to you, too, but it isn’t a joke to me, I mean, heck, I don’t even know if I’m old enough to marry someone, but I know I’d be one hell of a boyfriend if I had the chanc—”

And suddenly Lance isn’t saying any more words, because his mouth is busy with Keith’s mouth, and some distant part of his brain acknowledges that he’s being kissed — oh space gods, is Keith kissing him? Is this what’s actually happening? Nah, that’d be crazy! —, and there’s a pair of arms around his neck, and he doesn’t know what to do with his hands so he doesn’t move them. Everything is a bit too warm and too wet, and Lance is enjoying this, he’s enjoying this _very much_ , and he realizes that hey, maybe he should kiss Keith back? Is his tongue moving at all? Is it okay to kiss him back? He really wants to. But there’s no time to think about it, not when Keith’s incredibly warm chest is pressed against him, not when he feels the sand at his back as Keith pushes him down and attempts to eat his face. Hey, if Keith wants to eat it, Lance isn’t going to protest. Maybe that’s the reason Lance was born with a nice face to begin with. Maybe the gods wanted a pretty boy to eat his face. Lance is completely fine with this.

Wait.

_Wait._

Keith’s kissing him.

He’s being _kissed._

By Keith.

And he’s pretty sure he’s kissing him back.

Oh.

_Oooooooooooh._

Lance screams a little inside Keith’s mouth, because sometimes he can be romantic like that.

Keith stops eating Lance’s face and pulls back, but they’re still close enough for Lance to see how long his eyelashes are and— why is he so damn _handsome_ , arrest him—

“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.” Lance pauses and tries to catch his breath before adding: “ _Wait._ ”

“I’m waiting.” Keith informs him. His lips are so red. What. Lance already wants to kiss him again. But no, wait, _wait._

“We— you— we’re—” Lance tries to learn how to speak English again. Maybe Keith wouldn’t mind if he switched to Spanish? “You kissed me.”

“Yeah.”

“We just _kissed._ ”

“Yeah.”

“Your mouth was on my mouth.”

“That’s the idea, yeah.” Keith says, and the beginnings of a smile start to show on his incredibly kissable lips.

“Why.” Lance forgets that’s supposed to be a question. “I mean, I’m not complaining, just trying to understand how the universe works.”

“…Because I wanted to?” Keith’s blushing again, but, at this point, Lance doubts his own face isn’t at least a little bit red.

“That’s— _very_ nice, trust me, but— why did you want to?”

“Do I have to spell it out for you?”

“Yes?” Lance swallows. “I can’t think straight right now, so I kinda need your help.”

Keith rolls his eyes. His forehead is peppered with dark grains of sand, and so is his hair.

“…Okay.” Keith licks his lips, and Lance has to physically stop himself from immediately kissing him. “So, you might not be the only one with a crush.”

“Oh yeah?” Lance blinks. He’s still dazed. Is this the part where Keith reveals Shiro is totally into Allura? Because Lance called that _ages ago_. “Who else has a crush?”

“Me, stupid.”

“Oh.” Lance tries to absorb that new piece of information. He giggles. “…Keith, do you have a crush on _me?_ Mm?”

“Yeah.”

“…Wait, really?” Lance’s mouth drops open.

“…Lance, we just kissed.”

“Oh. Right.” Lance says slowly. “I guess that makes sense.”

“It does.”

“…Sorry, I think you kinda sucked out my brain when you kissed me.” Lance says. His fingers are still hooked on Keith’s hair. How did they get there?

Keith snorts. It shouldn’t be a beautiful sound, but it is, at least to Lance’s ears.

“Yeah. I’m starting to think that, too.”

“I think I know how to fix it.”

“How?”

“I think we have to kiss one more time, Keith.”

Keith suppresses a second snort. His face is just so damn red, Lance loves it.

“That’s a terrible way of asking for a kiss, you know.” Keith says.

“Maybe, but does it work?” And Lance grins.

“Who knows?” Keith teases, and Lance kisses him.

 

 

 

“Okay, so this is probably a bit too sudden, but can we please get married tomorrow?” Lance tries to ask casually.

Keith gives him a funny look.

“You’re the one who said you didn’t want to do it, before.”

“I know, I know, but that was before I knew you would be okay with me kissing the hell out of you, so, you know, I think we’ll be fine.”

They’re walking back towards the hideout. Several dancing rays of colored light illuminate the dark purple sky, and Lance wonders if that is this planet’s version of the Aurora Borealis. Pidge would probably love to see it. It’s a pity she isn’t there. He feels incredibly happy, and he wants his teammates to feel the same.

Lance plays with Keith’s fingers. They’re supposed to be holding hands, but it’s mostly just Lance poking at Keith’s fingers, and Keith tugging at his hand occasionally.

“I mean, it’s okay if you don’t want to,” Lance continues, “I’m not trying to _actually_ marry you, you know. I mean, my mom would kill me if I married someone without introducing them to her first. It’s just for the Navguln, right? I think we should help them.”

“I’m fine with it.” Keith says, and, wow, why is he still so pretty. Honestly, _why_. Lance had hoped Keith’s good looks were fabricated by his post-kiss stupor, but, nope, Keith is still damn fine. “It’s going to be okay. They’ll finally let us leave this place. Didn’t think I would ever say this, but I’m starting to miss my room back at the castle.”

“Yeah, tell me about it.” Lance groans. He looks at the back of Keith’s head, and an idea occurs to him. The best idea someone has ever had in that whole planet, actually. “Keith.”

“Yeah?”

“We should go on a date.” Lance frowns at his words, and decides to add: “When we get back, I’ll take you on a date. How about it?”

Keith turns to gaze at him a little too fast, then turns away, but not fast enough for Lance not to notice how red his face is.

“I guess that’s fine, yeah.” Keith says without looking at him.

Lance grins.

“You’re blushing.”

“Shut up.”

 

 

 

(07:07) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** ALRIGHT WHO’S EXCITED TO WATCH ME AND KEITH BECOME ROYALTY

(07:31) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** ok I guess no one is

(07:31) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** you’re all just jealous because im so young and innocent but im already about to get married and become the president

(07:34) **[ Red Paladin ]** President of what?

(07:35) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** OH NO THERE’S A CUTE BOY IN THE CHAT

(07:35) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** WHO IS HE

(07:35) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** WHAT IS HE DOING HERE

(07:36) **[ Red Paladin ]** You know who I am

(07:37) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** keith no youre supposed to play along

(07:37) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** u should say something like ‘im here to stop your foul marriage’

(07:38) **[ Red Paladin ]** But I’m getting married to you

(07:38) **[ Red Paladin ]** That makes no sense

(07:38) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** keith u need to be more creative

(07:39) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** think outside the box

(07:41) **[ Red Paladin ]** What box?

(07:41) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** see thsis is what im talking about

(07:42) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** honestly I cant tell if you’re being honest or doing this on purpose to impress me with your cuteness

(07:44) **[ Red Paladin ]** You do know that everyone will be able to read this, right

(07:44) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** yes

(07:44) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** but do I look like I care

(07:45) **[ Red Paladin ]** I can’t tell, we’re not in the same room

(07:45) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** hdjkfkdjffffff

(07:45) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** why are you like this

(07:45) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** who gave you the right

(07:45) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** to be this cute

(07:51) **[ Red Paladin ]** Lance can you come to my room real quick

(07:51) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** u know I can ;))

(07:51) **[ Red Paladin ]** they’re trying to make me wear something ridiculous please help me stop them?

(07:51) **[ Red Paladin ]** This is a very serious situation there’s nothing ‘;))’ about this

(07:52) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** if you say so ;))

(07:53) **[ Red Paladin ]** why are YOU like this

(07:53) **[ The Handsome Blue Paladin ]** <3

 

 

 

(08:37) **[ Green Paladin ]** well I guess I don’t need to worry about Lance anymore lol

(08:38) **[ Black Paladin ]** ?

(08:39) **[ Green Paladin ]** scroll up

(08:39) **[ Green Paladin ]** lance and keith were here like an hour ago

(08:40) **[ Green Paladin ]** I was a bit worried because Lance seemed a little sad last time I talked with him, but I think he’s feeling better lol

(08:56) **[ Black Paladin ]** Oh! I’m glad to see he and Keith are getting along well.

(08:56) **[ Black Paladin ]** I hope their friendship remains strong.

(08:58) **[ Green Paladin ]** > friendship

(08:58) **[ Green Paladin ]** omg shiro

(09:00) **[ Black Paladin ]** ?

(09:01) **[ Black Paladin ]** OH

(09:01) **[ Black Paladin ]** I GET IT.

(09:02) **[ Green Paladin ]** LOL

(09:03) **[ Black Paladin ]** Still, I hope they continue to support each other.

(09:03) **[ Black Paladin ]** And, Keith, I don’t know when you will read this, but I’m glad for you.

(09:03) **[ Black Paladin ]** It’s good to know Lance reciprocates your feelings.

(09:03) **[ Black Paladin ]** I know it means a lot to you.

(09:06) **[ Green Paladin ]** omg shiro stop embarrassing keith you’re going to kill him

(09:06) **[ Green Paladin ]** I’m not even keith and I feel super embarrassed just reading that lol

(09:07) **[ Black Paladin ]** Was it bad? I’m sorry, Keith.

(09:07) **[ Green Paladin ]** Nahh I’m sure he’ll love it :’)

 

 

 

_Beep!_

(09:58) **[ Red Paladin ]** Shiro Why

(09:58) **[ Red Paladin ]** How do I make his messages disappear

 

 

 

As expected, a Navguln wedding ceremony didn’t have much in common with your average earthling marriage.

For starters, there was an awful lot of dancing involved, as Lance and Keith soon discovered. Lance actually enjoyed it, while Keith suffered through it with his usual default grumpy expression, but even Lance started to get tired of it after their twentieth session of “alright, time to slow dance around this big arena with your ankle tied to your partner’s while we all clap very slowly, and please stop tripping on each other’s feet”.

During the exchange of vows, they were instructed to cover their partner’s face with their left hand, one at a time, while an overexcited Navguln priest threw generous amounts of scented purple water at them. Every time Keith tried to speak his vows, he was interrupted by the loud sound of water splashing at them, and he had to stop at least three times to wipe his eyes. That prompted Lance to laugh just a little too much, which later earned him a lecture from Allura about respecting other planets’ cultures (“No, Lance, I don’t know what a ‘water park’ or a ‘water slide’ is, but that does _not_ change the fact that it is inappropriate to compare such an important ceremony to _‘getting hitched in a water slide’_ , whatever that means. Keith, stop covering your mouth, I can hear you snickering.”).

Of course, the other Paladins were also present to witness their embarrassment in full glory. Hunk was the only one who didn’t laugh at them at some point, proving, once again, that he was too pure for that universe; even Shiro had the nerve to chuckle when Lance entered the ceremonial arena surrounded by a small group of Navguln carrying the courting gifts he’d gotten from Keith — several hairballs of different sizes, and one lonely Milky Bull.

Pidge laughed through the whole thing, because Pidge was evil and loved chaos.

After the ceremony was over, there was a quick celebratory feast. Lance and Keith were treated as the official Emperors of the Navguln, which was equal parts embarrassing and weird, at least for Keith, because Lance definitely enjoyed the attention (and the gifts. He makes a mental note to ask Coran if there’s any way for him to send some of those pretty seashell sculptures to his mom back on Earth).

It’s easy to convince the Navguln to accept Voltron’s help when the suggestion comes from their Emperors rather than a pair of confused teenagers in flashy garments. In less than two hours after the wedding ceremony was over, the paladins of Voltron were already inside their Lions. Shiro had a complete plan of attack for them to follow, and, even though Lance didn’t like to brag — that was a lie; Lance _loved_ to brag —, he’s pretty sure their performance was significantly better thanks to how he and Keith could now talk with each other without bickering that much (there was still a respectable amount of bickering during their attack on the Galra, of course, but it usually ended with Lance flirting with Keith while Keith rolled his eyes).

At the end of the day, it was just another Voltron mission in a strange little planet filled with strange little aliens, but, hey, at least this time Lance got a boyfriend out of it.

 

 

 

_Beep!_

(18:21) **[ Blue Paladin <3 K. ]** hey hunk, did I leave my old kim possible t-shirt with you?? the one I got in space mall last time

(18:23) **[ Yellow Paladin | My Best Buddy Hunk ]** I dont think so? Also what happened to ur name

(18:23) **[ Yellow Paladin | My Best Buddy Hunk ]** wait what happened to My name

(18:23) **[ Blue Paladin <3 K. ]** aww ok

(18:24) **[ Blue Paladin <3 K. ]** DO YOU LIKE YOUR NEW NAME i picked that for you

(18:24) **[ Yellow Paladin | My Best Buddy Hunk ]** I like it! Thank you

(18:25) **[ Yellow Paladin | My Best Buddy Hunk ]** I mean it’s a bit long but it’s sweet

(18:26) **[ Blue Paladin <3 K. ]** OK GOOD I couldnt beat pidge at mario kart so I had to promise I’ll knit her a charizard sweater and that will take forever

(18:27) **[ Blue Paladin <3 K. ]** so im really happy u liked it whew

(18:28) **[ Yellow Paladin | My Best Buddy Hunk ]** omg lance you didnt have to go that far D;

(18:29) **[ Blue Paladin <3 K. ]** BUT I WANT YOU TO REMEMBER UR MY BEST BUDDY EVERYDAY OK

(18:29) **[ Blue Paladin <3 K. ]** also I wanted to get a new name for keith so I thought it was unfair not to get one for you too

(18:29) **[ Yellow Paladin | My Best Buddy Hunk ]** ;__; thank u!!

(18:31) **[ Red Paladin <3 L. ]** You left your kim possible shirt in my room

(18:31) **[ Blue Paladin <3 K. ]** BABE

(18:31) **[ Blue Paladin <3 K. ]** DO YOU LIKE YOUR NEW USERNAME

(18:32) **[ Blue Paladin <3 K. ]** WE HAVE MATCHING USERNAMES LOOK AT US

(18:33) **[ Red Paladin <3 L. ]** what’s ‘<3’ again

(18:33) **[ Red Paladin <3 L. ]** wait it’s a heart isn’t it

(18:33) **[ Red Paladin <3 L. ]** why is it sideways I don’t get it

(18:34) **[ Blue Paladin <3 K. ]** hdjkdgfdddd

(18:34) **[ Blue Paladin <3 K. ]** dO YOU LIKE IT OR NOT KEITH tell me

(18:34) **[ Red Paladin <3 L. ]** I guess I can tolerate it

(18:34) **[ Green Paladin ]** #savage

(18:35) **[ Blue Paladin <3 K. ]** wOW

(18:35) **[ Blue Paladin <3 K. ]** SHUT UP I KNOW YOU LOVE IT KEITH

(18:35) **[ Blue Paladin <3 K. ]** he’s just shy shhhhh

(18:36) **[ Red Paladin <3 L. ]** Did you read my message… your kim possible shirt is in my room

(18:36) **[ Blue Paladin <3 K. ]** I DID but its cute that you typed it again just for me

(18:36) **[ Blue Paladin <3 K. ]** <3

(18:37) **[ Green Paladin ]** Wow Lance what is your shirt doing in Keith’s room….

(18:37) **[ Blue Paladin <3 K. ]** are u sure you want to know ;)

(18:37) **[ Green Paladin ]** whoA

(18:38) **[ Yellow Paladin | My Best Buddy Hunk ]** ok guys lets keep it pg 13

(18:38) **[ Red Paladin <3 L. ]** ??

(18:38) **[ Red Paladin <3 L. ]** He left it here because he was teaching me how to fix a hem

(18:39) **[ Red Paladin <3 L. ]** My shirt’s hem was falling apart because it’s a pretty old shirt and I wanted to fix it myself

(18:39) **[ Red Paladin <3 L. ]** And he told me to practice on his kim possible shirt

(18:39) **[ Red Paladin <3 L. ]** That’s all

(18:39) **[ Yellow Paladin | My Best Buddy Hunk ]** aw that’s actually sweet

(18:39) **[ Green Paladin ]** ok I was imagining something very different

(18:40) **[ Yellow Paladin | My Best Buddy Hunk ]** pidge no

(18:40) **[ Red Paladin <3 L. ]** ………..

(18:46) **[ Dad Paladin | Sometimes Allura ]** Keith, are you there?

(18:46) **[ Dad Paladin | Sometimes Allura ]** You left your jacket on the training deck.

(18:47) **[ Red Paladin <3 L. ]** Oh, thanks Shiro

(18:47) **[ Red Paladin <3 L. ]** On my way to get it

(18:48) **[ Yellow Paladin | My Best Buddy Hunk ]** ‘dad paladin’ omg

(18:48) **[ Yellow Paladin | My Best Buddy Hunk ]** lance did you change shiro’s username too?

(18:48) **[ Blue Paladin <3 K. ]** yeaaaaa

(18:48) **[ Blue Paladin <3 K. ]** everyone gets a cute username

(18:48) **[ Blue Paladin <3 K. ]** except pidge cuz she won’t let me change hers to ‘science gremlin’

(18:49) **[ Yellow Paladin | My Best Buddy Hunk ]** wow

(18:49) **[ Yellow Paladin | My Best Buddy Hunk ]** how did you manage to pay her for all these username changes??

(18:49) **[ Blue Paladin <3 K. ]** with my Blood and my Tears

(18:50) **[ Green Paladin ]** they’re not that expensive :P and I always let you pick the track at mario kart

(18:50) **[ Green Paladin ]** Of course, I can’t allow usernames like ‘xoxokittyboy69’ because we need to be able to recognize each other quickly, so

(18:51) **[ Blue Paladin <3 K. ]** well I think everyone would recognize you just fine if you changed ur name to science gremlin

(18:51) **[ Green Paladin ]** nahhh :’) let’s keep it simple

(18:54) **[ Blue Paladin <3 K. ]** keeeeith did you get your jacketttt

(18:54) **[ Red Paladin <3 L. ]** Yep

(18:55) **[ Blue Paladin <3 K. ]** GOOD where are u

(18:55) **[ Red Paladin <3 L. ]** in my room

(18:55) **[ Red Paladin <3 L. ]** we can go if you’re ready

(18:55) **[ Blue Paladin <3 K. ]** boi im more than ready

(18:56) **[ Dad Paladin | Sometimes Allura ]** Oh, are you two going somewhere?

(18:56) **[ Green Paladin ]** I bet they’re going on a daaaaaaaaate

(18:57) **[ Red Paladin <3 L. ]** Yep

(18:57) **[ Green Paladin ]** omg I was just kidding

(18:57) **[ Dad Paladin | Sometimes Allura ]** Are you taking your lions with you?

(18:58) **[ Blue Paladin <3 K. ]** uuhh do we have to??

(18:58) **[ Dad Paladin | Sometimes Allura ]** Well, can you at least take your helmets with you?

(18:58) **[ Dad Paladin | Sometimes Allura ]** Then we’ll be able to help you if anything happens.

(18:59) **[ Blue Paladin <3 K. ]** okaaaaaaaaay moooom

(19:00) **[ Dad Paladin | Sometimes Allura ]** :D

(19:00) **[ Green Paladin ]** lol shiro

 

 

 

Keith opens the door before Lance is even done knocking.

“Hello, _husband_.” Lance grins at him.

As expected, Keith rolls his eyes at Lance.

“Was that supposed to make me blush? You’re going to have to try harder.”

“You didn’t deny that you are my husband, though.” Lance points his finger guns at Keith.

“In _one_ planet in the _entire galaxy_ , yes.” But Keith is smiling at him. “Like I said, try harder.”

“Well, if it’s for you, I don’t mind trying my hardest.” Lance winks and grabs Keith’s hand unceremoniously. “Hurry up, we can’t miss the meteor shower!”

“You’re forgetting something.” Keith points out.

“What?”

And Lance’s world comes to a stop as Keith stands on his tiptoes and kisses him lightly on the lips.

“Your manners.” Keith answers him, whispering the words close to Lance’s ear before pulling back.

Well.

There goes Lance’s heart. _Again._

At this point, he _should_ have been somewhat used to it, but he isn’t. He really isn’t.

“You know, you could give me a warning first.” Lance suggests as he drags Keith along endless corridors. “Like, ‘Careful, Lance, I’m about to rock your fragile world with my terrific kissing abilities’ or something.”

“You think I have ‘terrific kissing abilities’?” Keith snorts.

“Well, yeah?” Lance shrugs. “I mean, if I wasn’t already sort of super in love, I definitely would have been after kissing you. It’s, like, a religious experience of sorts? I feel like I’m closer to understanding the essence of the universe every time I kiss you. …Okay, that sounded like a terrible pickup line, but I mean it. Maybe it’s because we’re also married? Maybe our kiss has alien super-powers!”

After Keith doesn’t answer him for a short while, Lance turns to look at him, half-expecting Keith to show him his usual _‘I can’t believe my boyfriend is being stupid again’_ expression, but he’s welcomed by a very red Keith that doesn’t seem to know what to do with his eyes.

“You okay, babe?” And, if Lance is grinning again, no one in that ship can blame him.

“M’fine.”

“Is this because I said I’m sort of super in love with you? ‘Cuz I can say that again.”

“Stop.”

“But I’m super in love with y—”

“ _Lance._ ”

“Okay, okay. But I can’t promise you won’t be blushing when we get there. You know I’m a romantic at heart.”

“I’ve noticed, yeah.” Keith stops walking, and, after a moment of hesitation, decides to be a little more honest with both of them: “…You can’t even understand how much I like you.”

“Keith, you’re mumbling.” Lance squeezes his hand lightly. “What did you just say? I didn’t catch it.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Whaat? _Keeeith_ , I want to know!”

“I’ll tell you. Later.”

“ _But Keeeith._ ”

“ _Later_.”

Lance wants to protest, but Keith is wearing that cute little smile of his, and it doesn’t take long until Lance is smiling, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BOY that was a long chapter huh 
> 
> yall can blame college for how long it took me to post this, i had so much to do im pretty sure i died at least three times, but hey, at least i managed to write this at some point I HOPE IT MADE SOMEONE SMILE A LITTLE bc that would made me very happy  
> you can also blame 80s voltron english dub, it distracted the hell out of me while I was writing this because the dialogues are so funny and I watched so much of it I wrote at least half of this chapter picturing lance and keith as 80s voltron lance and keith which is very weird pls never do that
> 
> aaand that's it!! This chapter became a lil bit longer than I planned, but I'm glad I was able to write it until the end! Thank you ALL so sooooo much for all the kudos/comments/favorites, really! I didn't expect a lot of people to enjoy this silly little thing, so I'm really surprised at the amazing feedback you guys gave me! This fic would definitely not exist if it wasn't for you all! 
> 
> If you want to say hi or yell at me (both will make me happy trust me son) please consider leaving a comment!! let me know if you enjoyed this crazy thing and, again, thank you all so much! <3


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